Humor Magazine

Enhance Your Life, Get Yourself a LEISURE WIFE

By Freeplanet @CUST0D1AN
Enhance your life, get yourself a LEISURE WIFEthe what might be the first in a series of posts entitled 'marriage is a tax gimmick' we're going to look at the concept of 'situational concubinage', 'conceptual-non-monogamy' or the more catchy version 'leisure wife'.
As much as one man might love his woman (LOL at the whole catalogue of tacit agreements we make in our daily lives with 'society' and the structures our brains are conditioned to accept as 'the norm' - man, love, woman, etc) ... let me start again, while I wipe laughter's trickling streams from my cheeks.
As much as one partner in a 'legal agreement to pool their income to benefit the corrupt and criminal corporate government we take for granted' might sacrifice their true personality to not-muddy the waters...
As much as... you know this could 'swing both ways', I'm not being sexist about this. It's not just about a man and his chattle. The so-called legally-bound entity wife could also have a leisure husband. It's just that I didn't want to contaminate, obfuscate or otherwise convolute a rather catchy title, if I say so myself... Where was I? Gah, this isn't as easy a post as I thought it was going to be. I am legally married. I have a wife. So might you. But do you have a leisure wife?
What do we mean by 'leisure wife'?
Well, she's your mate, your drinking partner, your research partner at Uni, your online nemesis or 'friend', your morning jogging partner, your after-hours boss, your sucking subordinate, your 'other life sharer', the person you whine to around the water cooler, some ear on the other side of the fence. It doesn't have to be about a 'closet groin-rubbing co-driver'. And the more and more time we all spend 'away from our marriage families' doing tedious jobs that benefit no-one and merely prop up a daily-crumbling Empire that stretches back through conquest historical pastures of inquisitions, land mines and D.U. munitions... man, I've lost the thread.
Adhering to legally-binding contracts is NOT what everybody's life should be about. Am I saying, "It's alright to fuck around?" no, not specifically. So, what's this 'leisure wife' concept all about? Does it mean we should all have affairs? No, not necessarily, even though we're all having them right now. I'm many of you's leisure wife, for example. By reading the shit I write, day in, day out, you're engaging in a leisure wife relationship with yours truly. What are your other halves going to do? Sue me for intentional neglect? No, they're going to accept that you, their spouse, their wife or husband, their life-sharer, has another side to his/her personality and (if they're being honest with themselves, though who truly ever is?) the marriage will be enhanced by the plethora of new angles such flagrant leisure wifery would add to the relationship.
The leisure wife concept doesn't necessarily admonish nor does it dismiss bigamy. Why? Well, the law's an ass, an ass. Just so as we all understand who or what we 'stand under'. The law is an ass. Full stop. End of. But you can subvert this whenever you want. Know why? Because THIS IS YOUR LIFE, not theirs. Your rules, as a society. You want a leisure wife, have it written into your marriage contract, now that's a pre-nuptial agreement right there! The concept of 'marriage' needs expanding beyond financial/childbirth misnomer it's become, it needs re-integrating into YOUR REAL LIVES and allowed to enhance what might otherwise be a rhetorical cop-out. You're with me, I know you are, my leisure wives.
"Enhance your life, get yourself a LEISURE WIFE."

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