Diaries Magazine

Crazy Shoe Stalker

By Saratpierce
It's story time ladies and gents... Today's story is all about stupid people, or should I say, a stupid person!Are you ready?OKAY!

A few Saturdays ago my super sweet hubby gave me a tip that Old Navy was having a flip flop sale for all card holders. Shoppers with Old Navy, Gap or Banana Republic credit cards could purchase flip flops for only $1.

WAHOO!I had JUST been complaining to him about how I needed new flip flops after realizing that I could feel every rock beneath my feet during our annual to the GA Renaissance Festival {post coming soon} so I was thrilled and ready to snag me up a basket-full of floppers. {Let it be known that I have never called flip flops "floppers" before in my life. You are now officially witnesses to a first.}
So I headed on over to get my flip flop shop on.
When I arrived I noticed there weren't any signs advertising the sale so I quietly {apparently not quietly enough} asked one of the sales associates if the sale was, in fact, today. She confirmed that it was, for card holders only, and I continued on my path to flip flop heaven. 

Crazy shoe stalker


As I stood in AWE of the EPIC WALL OF FLOPS, I noticed that someone was standing next to me. Thinking nothing of it, because surely someone else knew about the sale, I continued pondering my purchase. Then, all of a sudden, the stranger beside me made herself known.
Stranger: Um, excuse me?
Me: {looks at stranger unsure if she's talking to me and looks back at wall}
Stranger: Excuse me?
Me: {realizing that she IS talking to me looks back}
Stranger: Did I hear you say that flip flops are only $1 today?
Me: {realizing that she obviously heard me at the register but still thinking I'm just being a helpful fellow shopper} Yes, if you're a card holder. Next Saturday is for non card holders.
Stranger: What kind of card?
Me: {oh eff...} It's a store credit card but you can have one from Banana Republic and Gap and it works the same.
Stranger: Oh ok. Um, if I gave you money would you buy me some? I don't have a card.
SAY WHAT? I would NEVER be bold enough to ask a total stranger to buy something for me. Especially if the thing that was keeping me from a great discount was something I could easily get my hands on. 
Now... I know that my reaction might seem a little harsh, but let's be honest here:
  • You're asking a total stranger to purchase something for you.
  • You wouldn't have known about the offer if you hadn't been dropping eaves {name that movie} on my conversation with the sales associate. 
  • You can easily walk up to the register and GET YOUR OWN CARD
I forgot to mention that the perfect stranger, we'll call her the Crazy Shoe Stalker, was standing uncomfortably close to me. So close that I felt somewhat cornered. I was so caught off guard by her request and her narrowing distance to my face/death stare that I said, "Um, sure I guess." 
The next part of our awkward conversation went a little something like this:
Crazy Shoe Stalker: So how many are you going to get?
Me: I don't know, maybe two or three
Crazy Shoe Stalker: Okay, well I'm going to get three, is that alright?
Me: As long as you can pay be, I guess so. {seems to have been my key phrase throughout this whole experience}
Crazy Shoe Stalker: Ok, cool.
So after I quickly choose my shoes {black, grey and brown}, Crazy Shoe Stalker takes her sweet time picking out the brightest, most colorful shoes on the wall. There are TONS to choose from so within about 2 minutes I found myself standing back watching her make her bad decisions. {I'm not hating on colorful flip flops, but the fact that she was already on my hit list makes just about every decision she makes a bad one}
After about 5 minutes she finally realizes that I'm done... and burning a hole in the back of her head... and she asks, "Oh, um, are you done already?"
Evil glare.
Me: "Yeah, I'm done."

Crazy shoe stalker


So, Crazy Shoe Stalker collects her three pair of shoes and follows me to the register where she continues to ask me questions about this MYSTERIOUS Old Navy credit card {as if it's something she truly had never thought to imagine} and the mesmerizing flip flop sale to which she was so skillfully taking advantage of. It was at this point that I made another attempt to get out of having to buy this chick shoes. Amidst her ridiculously obvious questions I turned and reminded her, "You KNOW, next Saturday the sale is available for NON CARD HOLDERS. Just walk through the doors and you're eligible for the sale."
HOPING that even the dimmest of light bulbs might flash above her noggin, I awaited what was sure to be a painful response. 
Crazy Shoe Stalker: Yeah, but the lines are going to be so long, so I'll just use your card instead. 
Oh yeah... painful. 
At this point I realize that I've already committed to this far-too-friendly gesture and should just suck it up and stop trying to get out of it. So I continued off to the register and my clingy companion followed along behind me rummaging through her purse trying to see if she had $3 to seal the deal. 
When we get up to the register we place our flops on the counter and I get my Banana Republic card out of my wallet as the sales associate begins to scan. BUT, before she grabs the first pair, she stops and informs us that there is a limit to how many you can purchase. Only 5 per store. 
Meaning you could buy 5 pair at store A but would have to drive over to store B for any additional pairs within the $1 sale. Sweet. 
If you're keeping count we had a total of 6. Looks like Crazy Shoe Stalker has a tough decision to make but, as if I shouldn't have seen it coming, when I look over at her to see which pair she's going to put back I realize that she's looking at me to make the same decision. 

Crazy shoe stalker


She really thought that I was going to put a pair back while I'm the one that's getting her the sale in the first place. 
So after a quick stare down and a very INTENTIONAL raise of the eyebrows from yours truly, she picks a pair and slides them to the side. I think they were neon orange. Or maybe electric blue. I can't remember.
So, the transaction continues and we ask the sales woman to put them in two separate bags. I hand her my card and {of course} the computer has a hard time scanning it. She said it's a normal problem with BR cards so she grabs the super old fashioned credit card swiper to finish the job. It's then that I realize that my slippery friend has not only taken her bag but has moved to the other side of the register, between me and the door. It's CLEAR that the transaction is NOT complete because the sales woman is still trying to get my card to swipe but does that stop Crazy Shoe Stalker from being her abrupt and boneheaded self? Nay.
Crazy Shoe Stalker: Um, can I go now? Am I done?
SERIOUSLY? She still has my card in her hand and you are trying to peace out with store merchandise. How many flights of stairs did your mother drop you down when you were a child?
The woman behind the counter gave her the same look that I'm sure my face was making and said, "Um, no, I haven't finished the transaction so you can't just leave".
You go girl.
Annoyed and clearly frustrated that her plan for world domination is coming to a slow Crazy Shoe Stalker huffs and pops her hip to the side in protest while I pray to God and the Saint of shopping that the transaction be finished as fast as possible so I can be rid of my stalker. 

Crazy shoe stalker


Thankfully everything gets done, Crazy Shoe Stalker hands me $2.25 {for tax} and heads out the door. Thank the sweet Lord. 
NEXT, I hear the sales associate behind me, the same one who originally confirmed that the sale was running, say, "So she suckered you in, huh?"
A little surprised and slightly worried that I was going to get busted by the Old Navy Police, I looked over and realized that she was just as dumbfounded as I was so I simply smiled and nodded. The other girls that were working didn't understand until I said, "I've never met that girl before." The shock continued. Not just because they realized that she had asked a perfect stranger for this favor but that she was so pushy in her attempts to get her flops and get out. 
At the end of the day, I had my 3 pair of shoes, a few bucks {which I probably spent on a Frosty or small fries} and a few extra jewels in my crown in Heaven. I suppose if I were to really get credit for being a good samaritan I would have been more welcoming of Crazy Shoe Stalker and her bold {and yet simple} request for some shoe assistance. BUT, perhaps it was a slightly less samaritan-like mood that day that turned this whole situation into something truly heinous in my mind. 
Until Next Time...
What do you think? Was I totally overreacting? Would you have agreed to the exchange? Let me know! Just don't hate on me too much if you think I'm being a total prissssss.

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