For a brief while I had a Twitter account (before things, er, devolved with Twitter) using the name @Cleracters. There, I posted clerihews (a specific type of light verse poem) about television characters. I wrote a ton of them, so I thought I’d share some here. They’re roughly organized by genre.
Animation
Louise Belcher
Bullshit squelcher
Speaks her mind
Even when it’s unkind
Lana Kane
Was the bane
Of Archer’s existence
Despite his persistence
Regular-sized Rudy
Pain in the patootie
But the Belcher kids aren’t jerks
They accept him for his quirks
Diane Nguyen
Needs a win
So she’ll pen the memoir
Of washed up old star
Peggy Hill
Has zero chill
With feet that are mannish
She loves teaching Spanish
Lisa Simpson
Dress of crimson
So precocious that she’s stayed
Thirty years in second grade?
Hilda and Twig
Met someone big
Helped him locate his spouse
Then he stepped on their house
Bender Bending Rodriguez
Frye will do what he says
Cuz that robot knows the way
To live it up in 3K
Little Stan Marsh
Knows life is harsh
But not afraid to say
“I learned something today”
Patrick the Squire
Did fondly aspire
To a job where he toils
For incompetent royals
Ensign Mariner
There’s no scarin’ her
Just makin’ margaritas
For the crew of the Cerritos
Sit-coms
Nandor the Relentless
Existence is endless
Never met a village
He didn’t want to pillage
L’il Sebastian
Loved with a passion
Made us all cry
When he learned to fly
Chandler Bing
Did the strangest thing
Spent the day in a crate
Cuz he kissed Joey’s date
Moira Rose
Communed with crows
Revived her career
With a homespun premiere
Eleanor Shellstrop
Cream of Hell’s crop
Draining down a bottle
And quoting Aristotle
Dwight Schrute
Has a favorite root
Will mainsplain the deets
Of growing great beets
