Christmas Survival Kit!

Christmas is fast approachingI swear I blinked and this whole year went byFor meChristmas is a double edged swordPart of me loves itThe lightsThe atmosphereThe Christmas spiritWrapping up in woolly clothesSnuggling up beside the fireGoing for walks in the crisp winter airBut like a lot of people I can really struggle with the holiday tooThey don't call it the silly season for nothing Christmas in this country seems to be about two thingsAlcoholAnd food Both of which I have issues with I remember back to my teens and early twenties Christmas was all about the pubI can remember going to the pub after schoolChanging out of my uniform in the bathroomOn a Friday the pub staff ordered boxes of chicken wings for the punters Oh to be able to eat chicken wings without my ED in my headStillI can get nostalgic around this time of year And there is nothing more Christmassy than a hot toddyOr a glass of brandyUnfortunately I just can't drink And neither do most of my family Now a days we have a strictly alcohol free house for the holidays We have learned the hard way that my family and alcohol just do not mixI can remember growing upDrinks Followed by dinnerFollowed by more drinksFollowed by huge family argumentNo No drink is worth the peace of mind that we have now
So How do we get through the holidays Stay sane And not harm ourselves or anyone else?WellIt's tricky Christmas time often means spending much time with family and people you don't usually see from one end of the year to the other It means being cooped up inside for 24 hours straight Putting on a happy face when you unwrap your gifts and see that auntie Margaret has given you lavender soap yet again It means eating to the point that you feelPositively illWatching the Christmas movieAnd promptly falling asleep on the couchWhile your nephew draws on your face
Try not to let the idea of Christmas dictate the days and weeks leading up to itAnd try not to anticipate what the day itself will be like For the eating disordered Christmas can be tough The build up to the holidaysBeing out of your usual routineAll the emphasis on food and drinkThe socialising Expectations for the perfect day can all contribute to stress, pressure and anxietyAnd things generally being out of sorts for a couple of weeks I guess the first thing to do is not to panic Take deep breathes And remember that Christmas is just one day 24 hours Our routine may be all over the placeBut one day is manageable We can get through itFor me It's important to stay busy I usually bring the dogs to the beach on Christmas morningAnd watch the charity swimThen I go to mass with some of my family Get homeAnd get stuck in to helping with the dinnerStaying busy gives me less chance for my mind to wander and become anxious I know it seems like food is everywhere at this time of year But remember If you eat more than usual on the dayIt's ok In fact it's normal Everyone does it So don't panic Don't beat yourself upIt's completely natural to eat a little bit extra sometimes Everything in moderationIncluding moderation 
The thing I find the toughest about Christmas is all the socialising Our house is the main focus of our familySo there are a lot of visitors over the holidays A constant stream of people in and outActuallyIt's more the thought of all this activityWhen it's actually happening It's not too bad It's more the thoughts of itAnd the anxiety that goes with thatOver Christmas It's important to remember to look after yourselfTo be kind to yourself And not to put yourself under too much pressure Do what you feel you can do Be that a little or a lot No one expects you to be Wonder WomanAlthough we seem to expect that of ourselves Also Take some time out for yourself if you need toTake half an hour on your own to recharge your batteries Meditate Practise mindfulnessOr get out for a walk To clear your head And take a breathListen to music Read a bookSomething I have to be wary of Is all or nothing thinkingEating none of the foodOr all of the food Thinking because one thing goes wrongEverything is ruined One good idea Is to have a buddy on stand by Someone you can give a quick ring of things become too much You can also be someone else's buddy Having a voice of reasonTo bring you back down to earth can be invaluable Of course support is a two way thingSo both of you will benefit Be mindful of isolating over the holidays Stay in touch with your supports Beware of all or nothing thinking that leads to unrealistic and rigid expectationsIt's about listening to you and your body And knowing that it's ok to have what you want Remembering that it is just one day and nothing awful will happen if you change the rulesReminding yourself thdt Christmas is not only about foodFood is just one part of itAnd may need some planning to work for you 
With all that saidRemember it's ChristmasIt's to be enjoyed Yes, we will struggle And our EDs often don't want us to enjoy ourselves Especially around anorexia It's all about being strict and regimented And punishment can feature tooBecause you know what guys?We are far too hard on ourselvesWe are the first ones to bring ourselves down We bully ourselves Verbally and physicallyWe deserve a breakWe deserve to enjoy our Christmas In whatever form that may take God knows we are dealing with enough every other day of the yearEating disorders Mental illness Addiction Self harmWe deserve at least one day to relaxTo enjoy ourselves Whether you are in the midst of your illnessOr embarking on recovery We all deserve to smileTo laugh To throw some shapes on the dance floor To let our hair downBecause when else can we get the chance to do that?
SoI wish you and yoursA very happy and peaceful ChristmasI hope you get to spend time with the ones you IoveHold them closeHug them tightCherish every moment with themBecause they are the ones that matterThey are the ones who hold our handsWho pick up the pieces when it all falls apartThis year I  especially grateful to have my family around meWith everyone in good health We have much to celebrate this yearI hope you do too...