Bumpy Week

Yes This week has been bumpy to say the leastI was off Monday and Tuesday with severe bouts of diarrhoeaI went in Wednesday And yesterday But I had to get off the horse to run to the bathroomSo I really didn't get to ride which was disappointing So instead I groomed And helped out in the yardToday I am off againAs I have a doctors appointment So I'm hoping to get to the bottom of this Ha! Pardon the pun!But seriously I do need to get this under control I've had diarrhoea since I started the course Which is five weeks now I was managing it But it's got to the point where I'm afraid to do anything In case I need the looAs I said in my last postI really think it's anxiety I was talking with my sisters partner last night And she was asking why I am anxious After some thought I realised that it was because I feel I'm not good enough That I am stupid And am not able for this course I worry about everything About falling behind Being asked questions and not knowing the answers About how I'm doing socially Wondering what my weights doing Struggling to eat at breaks So really and truly there is a lot going onIt's no wonder my body is taking a hit And the thing is It's a catch 22 situation If I go in to my course I feel anxious and have diarrhoea If I don't go in I don't feel anxious And I don't have it So when I do stay at home I feel I should have gone inBut if I go inI wish I stayed at homeWhat to do ....I'm not sure what my doctor is going to do But I hope there is a solution that doesn't involve taking a pillI was wondering if any of you have experience this And how did you deal with it?It's starting to get me down And I know the more time I miss The more I fall behind And the harder it will be to get back in to the swing of things Anyway I digress 
In other news Mam is away for two weeks So am trying to keep the house running in some sort of order The weather is so bad that I'm not getting out with the dogs as much But they come for spins in the car and seem to be happy enough with that My Dad is staying with us for a while He has improved a bit Which is great Food wise I'm doing okStruggling a bit to eat in schoolBut I'm eating a dinner in the evenings I'm not entirely sure But I don't think I've lost weight If I have it's not much Mood is good I feel positive Despite the issues I'm having But I'm optimistic that there is a solution So if you have any suggestions I'd love to read them.....