Well, I would be if I was you! After all, you know better than most that you are the biggest 'must get' target in the world for every swivel-eyed terrorist and/or publicity seeking nutter looking for a place in history. So, it must be worrying to realize that you are protected by the Keystone Cops.
The US Secret Service
The Keystone Cops
Still, if you and Michelle are worried you could always seek the protection of the 'Top Gun' in your security detail, Ms. Julia Pierson, she looks big enough and 'stoopid' enough to take a bullet for you and her bulk should give a skinny guy like you plenty of cover, er, although Michelle might need to slim down a bit.
Julia Pierson, the director of the Keystone Cops
Oh, sorry, Mr. President but I have just heard that Ms. Pierson has tendered her resignation, allegedly on the grounds that the organisation for which she is responsible is, to quote a phrase, 'not fit for purpose'. Rumours to the effect that she walked out muttering something about 'if'n y'all think I'm takin' a bullet for that snot-nosed, limp-wristed, black s.o.b. and his uppity missus, ya'll can think agin!' can be discounted. Equally, other rumours that she might hail from Arkansas are not to be believed either.
