Dear Diary: I am basking in the approval of the scientific community after announcing my grand initiative for mapping the human brain. I have always wondered what makes one individual brilliantly intelligent, such as myself and makes others slow-witted buffoons, like Boehner and Biden. This project will bring hope of a cure for conditions like Parkinsons, autism, and conservatism. The human race will be forever grateful to BarackObama, The Great and Magnificent. But enough about me.
