Barack Obama's Diary: I Want to Be in That Number

Dear Diary:  I'm in a snit today, having read that Pope Francis is handing out sainthoods. Why am I, a Nobel  Prize winner, not in the running? St. Barack the Humble would be an excellent title and most fitting for me, possibly the greatest and most modest intellect in the modern world. Or I could simply  be St. Barack of  Kenya  Indonesia Hawaii. As for  the needed two miracles, have I not  persuaded the American public to  swallow a health plan that they neither want, nor can afford? Did I not smite mine enemies with drones from above?  But enough  about me.