Every week I’m learning new tips, tricks, and ways to be a better stay/work at home Dad. What better time than right before the holidays to share my Top 5 tips with everyone.
1 – Teach, teach, teach
The first thing I started learning was that Alyssa is a human sponge, soaking in everything I’m doing. If I spend 4 hours picking lint out of my toes she is going to want to do the same thing, for a week! I do everything possible to make every activity with her interactive and educational. Even spending a half hour eating lunch in the dining room with the fork and cup and pointing out the window or around the room to identify objects. Practice makes perfect and the more effort I have put in to teaching her the small things, the more she puts it all together herself on the big ones. Watching her learn and grow is very rewarding.
The mess must be made, before she can be clean!
2 – Consistency pays off
One of my big things is self-sufficiency and the best way to get Alyssa to that point. Not because I don’t want to do things for her but because I want her to be satisfied doing things herself. Great example is walking around stores and out on the weekends. We pretty much always leave the stroller at home. I want her to expect to walk on her own and not be lazy and get rolled around. I look at kids today and they need to move more and sit in front of TV less. My insistence in her walking on her own everywhere I believe is great for her development physically and socially since she is seeing the world from her own perspective not from that of a glorified shopping cart. When she is tired I get the additional workout of carrying a 32 pound baby around. No complaints, I probably wore her little body out the days I’m carrying her and she will nap well.
3 – Don’t be a slob or jerk
You are a reflection of your kid. I would spend 30 minutes preparing Alyssa to go out and then just put on my vibrams and leave like a hot mess. I’ve been getting more adult with myself by making greater attempts of showing up places looking more put together. The reality is my personality is kind of overwhelming in person so the more “normal” I can trick people into thinking I am the better. I don’t want Alyssa to suffer socially because I’m a lazy dresser or a bit of an aggressive personality. Her personality is so bright and engaging with people and I think my outgoing nature has helped foster this in a positive way. Holding myself and occasionally my tongue back at times for the greater good has benefited her for sure. If I can switch it off a little, anyone can.
4 – Learn from other parent bloggers (mom or dad)
One of my favorite reading spots for fellow Dads.
I’m not a book guy. We have a shelf in the living room with an assortment of parenting 101 books and I have yet to read a single page in any of them. I’m sure they are good writers. I just don’t know who they are, or their style. Social Media brings mommy and daddy bloggers into your field of view 100x faster and you can see who you relate to and appreciate the styles of. Then you may have identified a source or two of friendly and valuable advice. I know quite a few that I’m currently following dole out killer information. I would rather read a specific 1-3 page online article than a long winded book chapter any day! Social media changes how we can learn to be better parents, why hide from it when you can embrace the opportunity. Life of Dad is a network of Dads I have been spending more and more time on. Great network for the fellas.
5 – Have fun and be a positive life force
You HAVE to be a fun guy to spend all day with your kid there just is no other way about it. I never knew coming into this how much energy would be spent every day but it is all worth it. I’ve seen moms dragging screaming kids, dads completely unable to control a child in public (probably their 1 day a year they’re on kid duty), generally just some miserable relationships of parent and child. Sure I might be seeing that one time they have an issue but the overall gist of it is the same. For every 1 happy go lucky goof like myself I see a dozen of the people I would never want Alyssa to think I am. Will this make life harder down the road for me with her in gaining her respect as a parent? I don’t think so. Boundaries still remain, it’s just a matter of making every moment possible enjoyable for her. Otherwise just drop her off at the local daycare and let complete strangers raise your kid. I try to make every task we do fun from singing crazy made up songs while changing her diaper to dancing like Michael Jackson in the supermarket (complete with hoooo and crotch grab). And yeah, that looks creepy as a 6′ long haired white boy dressed like an extra from a 70s cop drama but those are the cards I’m dealt and it’s all Aces to me!
That’s all for today people. Happy Monday!
