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3 Worse Outfits A Monkey Waiter Could Wear In This Japanese Restaurant Employing Monkey Waiters

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

We found this creepy video on CNN’s web site, that we encourage you to watch, of a Japanese restaurant that apparently has to abide by different health code practices than strip clubs in stringent British Columbia, Canada, which we wrote about here earlier this week.

According to CNN, the restaurant uses monkeys as wait staff, including one wearing a woman’s mask. Here’s CNN’s quote:

“A monkey wearing a women’s mask and wig will wait on you at izakaya Kayabuki in Utsnomiya, and if you’re lucky, jump on your head.”

“That would be lucky!” someone losing money on the Penny Slots at Trump Taj Mahal is thinking right now. But the real question, why is the monkey wearing a mask? We could speculate it’s a disguise: “No monkeys working here,” the owner could report after a surprise visit from the Tokyo Monkey Labour Standards Board. Anyway, for the monkeys out there who feel glum about their creepy costumes and need uplifting, here are 3 worse disguises you could wear while working in a restaurant:

1. A Mitt Romney Halloween mask. We could see how the Romney campaign might think sending a bunch of monkey Mitt Romney impersonators to what they believe to be blue-collar diners in swing states might make Romney seem more accessible. But when the monkey jumps on your head, as they’re prone to do, that may be a little too accessible for the typical independent “No-More-Monkeys-Jumping-On-The-Bed-Or-My-Head” voters.

3 Worse Outfits A Monkey Waiter Could Wear In This Japanese Restaurant Employing Monkey Waiters

Another better disguise a monkey waiter could wear in a restaurant!

2. An alien mask. This would especially be bad news for Mitt Romney, because as we reported earlier this week, a National Geographic poll indicates that the majority of Americans surveyed believe Barack Obama could better handle an alien invasion than Mitt Romney. We think this is probably because survey takers believe Obama may have played “Space Invaders” back in the day, while Mitt Romney’s favorite video game might be “Pinball” or the more high-tech, but less exciting “Electronic Voting Machine.”

3. A Japanese Health And Labour Inspector uniform. This may trick restaurant inspectors into thinking the restaurant is already being inspected by a colleague, leading the non-monkey, real inspectors to leave the restaurant. However, a bunch of health inspectors running erratically and jumping on patrons’ heads at your restaurant may not be good for business or getting a good review on Yelp!


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