Athletics Magazine

3 Small Gifts You Need To Buy Yourself

By Brisdon @shutuprun

I truly think that you can tell how well people know you by the gifts that they give you. This past week I received three gifts that I know you will agree are very appropriate for someone like me (and if you read this blog, probably appropriate for someone like you).

The Princess Wipes:

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I do believe that the invention of the wipe has been, historically, the most genius expression of human creativity (well, the sticky note is pretty clever too). Initially devised to clean an infant’s bottom of feces and urine, the wipe is now widely depended on by runners everywhere. 

Need a quick clean up? Use 5-6 wipes to hit the major sweat regions: pits, crotch, cleavage, crack. Trusted a fart while running and shouldn’t have? Your wipes are there to tide you over until you can get home and do the “real” clean up.  You don’t have to use the Princess Wipes, but they may just make you feel a tad more dainty and Kate Middleton-ish as you are cleaning yourself up (tip: keep in console of your car!).

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The Hand Sanitizer:

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Please note that you do not have to  have touched your genitals to use this sanitizer. That is just a suggestion. The hand sanitizer is a necessity for anyone who is around excessive germs. As a runner, you are likely exposed to many bodily fluids (yours and perhaps others if things get messy). Having a sanitizer at your disposal to decrease bacteria on your skin is essential. In actuality, you could combine the Princess Wipes and the Hand Sanitizer and never have to shower or bathe again. No one would know the better (another item to keep in console of your car).

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The Grown Up Sippy Cup:

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For a long time now, I have felt very cheated. You see, I was born in the 60s (1967 to be exact), prior to the invention of the sippy cup. I was part of a generation who walked around with cherry Kool-Aid spilled down the front of their shirt and dried milk spots on their Lee jeans.  At the age of two and three we were too cool and old to drink out of bottles, but too young and careless to consume beverages out of real cups.

As an adult, I have now found some redemption. No more careless wine spills down the front of my blouse. No need to put my good quality wine (i.e., Woodbridge $9.99 for the big bottle) in a red Solo cup when I walk the dog. I now feel that my life has come full circle. (btw, you can find this cup HERE).

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Yes, I do sit on my steps and drink wine

What did I learn about myself by writing this post? That if you give me a keyboard and a subject, I can write about anything.

As a runner/triathlete, what do you keep in your car? Clif Bars, gels, wipes, lotion, shorts, hand sanitizer, gloves, gum, Motrin, Altoids, suncreen, lip balm, tampons.

Best “personal” gift you have received lately? I have also enjoyed the book given to me recently - The Kama Pootra - 52 Mind Blowing Ways to Poop. An example (don’t try this at home):

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SUAR


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