Middleagedmatron

LATEST ARTICLES ( 102 )

• How to Pack

  

  It baffles me the panic people get into when faced with holiday packing. There is indeed a science to it, but it's a science that's easily mastered and I, who... Read more

  Posted on 27 July 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Time Out

  'Bet you're looking forward to the summer break!' says the lady in The Co-op. I smile with improvised serenity and sag under the weight of the lager I'm... Read more

  Posted on 21 July 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Facing the Music

  My daughter has always held tyrannical opinions on in-car entertainment. In the early days she would clamour for her Sing-along Nursery Rhymes cassette when... Read more

  Posted on 04 July 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Finding Fulfilment

  I have long held the suspicion that I am not fully woman. My make-up basket consists of two lipsticks, a jar of Vaseline and a pair of illuminating tweezers,... Read more

  Posted on 01 July 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Fragility

  I am driving my 10 year-old to her weekly gymnastics class. We are not in harmony. She is berating me for refusing to allow her an iPhone. I am berating her... Read more

  Posted on 26 June 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Virago

  I do most of my mothering on a wing and a prayer. Only come evening do I forage the fridge in hopes of stray proteins for supper. Read more

  Posted on 24 June 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Father's Day

  It is the family service. For once the eight-year-old goes unprotestingly to Sunday School so I can sit in my pew with dignity unimpeded by a small boy... Read more

  Posted on 16 June 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• To Catch a Thief

  My name is Anna and I am a kleptomaniac. 'Where,' shouts the Vicar, 'have you put my swimming trunks?' 'Where,' shouts the 8yo, 'have you hidden my school tie? Read more

  Posted on 10 June 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Scapegoat

  

  Our family has gained a garrulous new member. She spends her days in my 10-year-old's room and is unprepossessing in looks and character. Read more

  Posted on 04 June 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Legacy

  Today the Vicar performed his mother's funeral. As a priest he followed her coffin reciting the promise of resurrection. As a son he spoke of how she would... Read more

  Posted on 20 May 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Loss

  The prompt for this week's 100-word challenge at Julia's Place is Parting is such sweet sorrow. Yesterday we heard that my mother-in-law had suffered a brain... Read more

  Posted on 06 May 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Real Men

  Spiders, it seems, are the secret to machismo. Women, asked by pollsters what vital ingredient marks out a real man, were in broad agreement: real men are... Read more

  Posted on 29 April 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Mod Cons

  I'm not a great believer in labour-saving devices. I evicted my husband's microwave when I moved into the vicarage. I rely on the remaining intact pages of my... Read more

  Posted on 23 April 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Artistic Sensibility

  We are in a small gallery devoted to an artist I have never heard of. Gazing from the walls are rows of voluptuously lipped pre-Raphaelite women united by a... Read more

  Posted on 11 April 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• The Art of Joy

  

  Katetakes5 is celebrating the fact that her son rates David Bowie above One Direction. Heady with pride she wants the rest of us to teach our children that... Read more

  Posted on 07 April 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• In Search of Self

  'You know I have an attitude problem,' says the 10-year-old. There's a hint of pride in her voice. 'Yes,' I reply warily. 'Well everyone in Year 5 and 6 has... Read more

  Posted on 28 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Guilt

  There's an emotion that assails you when your child draws its first breath and that emotion remains steadfast for as long as you draw your own. Read more

  Posted on 21 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Wild Living

  

  The prompt for this week's 100-Word Challenge at Julia's Place is The unseasonal weather meant. Dunno what made her think of that one... The unseasonal weather... Read more

  Posted on 19 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• Makeover

  

  My children want to make biscuits. 'To be a cook you must have the look!' says the ten-year-old. She has been holding clandestine talks with my mother about my... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION

• A Nation of Undesirables

  

  I've just completed the trawl though atlases, timetables, savings accounts and passport renewal forms in order to book our summer holiday. Read more

  Posted on 14 March 2013 DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION