Markkaplowitz

LATEST ARTICLES ( 128 )

• Remember When Sugar Wasn’t the New Cocaine?

  Last week Sixty Minutes aired a segment titled “Is Sugar Toxic?” that reported scientific evidence that the added sugar in various foods causes a variety of... Read more

  Posted on 09 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When We Were Slaves in Egypt?

  

  When I was a kid we didn’t have television or hand-held devices.  We had to make bricks from bitumen and pitch.  My friends and I liked to say “bitumen” over an... Read more

  Posted on 05 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When the Police Couldn’t Track You With Your Cellphone?

  Note: A brief glossary follows this post, Mom and Dad. MKI just read an article about how a number of local police officials are tracking cellphones, often... Read more

  Posted on 02 April 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Weren’t All These Mediums?

  The other night I caught a show on TLC called “Long Island Medium.” Being from Long Island myself, I thought that this might be a show about the first Long... Read more

  Posted on 29 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember the Etch A Sketch?

  I’ve been hearing a lot of people talk about the Etch A Sketch lately. What a fantastic toy. A plastic rectangle and knobs for kids who couldn’t deal with... Read more

  Posted on 26 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Didn’t Hunger For The Hunger Games?

  Yesterday’s “Today” show featured Jennifer Lawrence, the star of “The Hunger Games,” the movie version of the latest series of books for adults who like to... Read more

  Posted on 22 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When You Didn’t See Those “26.2” Stickers On Cars?

  I was on my way to Lowe’s to complain that I couldn’t push the walls of my house like the people in that “Never Stop Improving” commercial, when I saw a... Read more

  Posted on 19 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Julius Caesar?

  

  What can be said about Julius Caesar that has not already been said?  He was a very good tipper, routinely going over 20% and making everyone else at the table... Read more

  Posted on 15 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Renting Movies At the Video Store?

  The video rental store near my home had a room in the back that you entered through a pair of saloon-style swinging half-doors. Read more

  Posted on 12 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember the President’s Fitness Test?

  When I was in elementary school and completing my gym fellowship, after the square dancing seminar but before I had to defend my thesis on crab soccer, we were... Read more

  Posted on 08 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Television Programs Didn’t Have Animated Promos For Other Programs?

  When I was a young whippersnapper and could eat at McDonald’s three times a week without a health care proxy, there was a separation between television programs... Read more

  Posted on 05 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When There Weren’t All These Fitness Devices?

  It seems like every time I have to move my belt out another notch there is another fitness device being marketed.My first introduction to exercise devices was... Read more

  Posted on 01 March 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember What Made You Fall in Love With the Movies?

  Last night I swallowed my cynicism and watched the entire airing of the 2012 Academy Awards. There ought to be an award for watching the whole thing. Read more

  Posted on 27 February 2012 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR, MOVIES, SATIRE

• Remember When Mr. Coffee Was the Only Coffee Maker?

  The mustachioed man in the center of the room took a drag of his electric cigarette and began his story.“Beatrice bought me a Mr. Coffee when we had first... Read more

  Posted on 23 February 2012 DRINK, FOOD & DRINK, HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When No One Cared Where Their Food Was From?

  

  When I was a kid I didn’t care where my food was from as long as it wasn’t from off the floor. Food falling on the floor is one of the worst things that can... Read more

  Posted on 20 February 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember How You Used to Celebrate Valentine’s Day?

  My first Valentine’s Day involved a second-grade class and a sheet of perforated Valentines. We had to give them out to every other kid in the class, and I’m... Read more

  Posted on 14 February 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember Whitney Houston? (A Tribute)

  The book that I have been writing opens with a scene where the protagonist is attending a live performance of his favorite artist, when a nearby person’s cell... Read more

  Posted on 12 February 2012 CURRENT, SELF EXPRESSION

• Remember When People Didn’t Have Cameras in Their Cell Phones?

  Gisele Bündchen’s classy retort to an even classier heckle as she left Lucas Oil Stadium last Sunday night, and Rob Gronkowski’s NKOTB impersonation at the... Read more

  Posted on 09 February 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE, SELF EXPRESSION

• Remember Life Before Super Bowl XLVI (46)?

  It is half-past five on the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday. The house smells like chili and I’ve seen more of Bob Costas today than I have of my wife. Read more

  Posted on 05 February 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE

• Remember When Pitches Were Just For Movies: Digesting the Writer’s Digest...

  After Donald Maass spoke about how to intensify novels and convinced everyone that the novels they came to New York to pitch needed to be rewritten from scratch... Read more

  Posted on 01 February 2012 HUMOR, SATIRE