Gray Eyed Athena

LATEST ARTICLES ( 197 )

• Dazed

  I didn’t take the Seroquel last night. I just couldn’t. Not after I read through all of the side effects and saw “weight gain” emphasized repeatedly on the... Read more

  Posted on 19 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Seroquel, Leave of Absence, Psychiatrist

  My PCP called me back to tell me to call a different psychiatrist who will be able to get me in within the next two weeks. She also called in a 2-week... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Something Wicked This Way Comes

  I’ve liquid fasted all day today, unintentionally. Just mug after mug of black tea, using the same tea bag, adding hot water over and over, mustn’t let the... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Unbalanced

  I am approaching the end of my line. The exhaustion overwhelms. Today I am brimful of scary high energy, the last twitters and jolts of a downed electric line... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• My Stats, 21 Pounds Down, BMI Under 25

  This piece of good news is enough to shake away the cotton from my sleepyeyes for a moment:I’ve lost 21 pounds and my BMI is finally finally out of the... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• an Ending Story

  my job:to turn sobs into sentences.I am:20 pounds down.Does this matter?I do not sleep. My eyes cross. I dizzy up the girl and spin down the stairs, falling i... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Warmth.

  Her soft black boots glide slowly to the bathroom, clutching at carpet a moment too long and she stumbles, steadying herself against stained walls. Vision... Read more

  Posted on 15 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Too Much.

  The Ativan from my pcp yesterday didn’t help a bit. It took me even longer to fall asleep and then I still woke up super early, incapable of falling back to... Read more

  Posted on 15 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Update, Post Doctor’s Visit

  The sweet nurse showed me to my room and showed me how to curl up on the exam table, tucking my coat in around me. She squeezed my arm and told me the doctor... Read more

  Posted on 14 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Girl Crush, Thin Kate Middleton

  

  The best part is, I can look like her. I am not nearly as tall, but I have very similar cosmetic features of pale skin, thick brunette hair, and an oval face.... Read more

  Posted on 14 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Exhausted Manic

  I know that insomnia causes weight gain. I should count myself lucky that it’s only been two pounds. And now I’m frantically researching sleep/anxiety meds... Read more

  Posted on 13 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• “may-day”

  This poem by Emerson gives me hope. Maybe all I need is winter to end.Spring is strong and virtuous,Broad-sowing, cheerful, plenteous,Quickening underneath... Read more

  Posted on 13 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Something is Wrong.

  Encompassed and overwhelmed by a sense of terror and impending despair. I don’t know how else to say this:I cannot sleep. I am not sleeping.And while... Read more

  Posted on 12 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Ennui

  I’ve been waking at 2am sharp every morning for the past 5 days, and trying to go back to sleep is merely an antagonistic slap in the face of the pseudo-dreams... Read more

  Posted on 06 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Fragment

  I am but a shard of self, fractured and pieced out, parsed outOne foot in front of the other, head downMoments of sheer panic, is today Wednesday? Or Thursday?... Read more

  Posted on 06 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• out of Plateau, 18 Pounds Down

  I took my progress picture on March 3, mimicking the progress picture I took on February 3. This is such a cool way for me to document and see the changes in m... Read more

  Posted on 05 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION

• Disordered

  Last night I tore at my skin, attacking an itching that crawled all over my body from my scalp to my toenails. I could not be still, the slightest breath... Read more

  Posted on 05 March 2013 SELF EXPRESSION