Christopher De Voss

LATEST ARTICLES ( 575 )

• Not A Good Way To End The Year

  Fiction The cigarette hung from his fingers of bone inches over the glass table top. The smoke wisped into where ever smoke wisps too, just kind of up and gone. Read more

  Posted on 03 January 2014 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• What Really Sandpapers My Balls – 3rd Ed.

  This time of year is perfect for coming up with things that just send me into realms of pissed off that most mortals don’t experience. Read more

  Posted on 03 January 2014 HUMOR

• The Other Me Is A Fashion Designer

  

  When you are trying to take over the internet, it’s not narcissistic to use Google Alerts. It’s not. Ok, it is a little…but it’s a great tool to find out where... Read more

  Posted on 30 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• Like A Virgin, Almost

  

  The Immaculate Conception. The painting doesn’t make me any clearer on the mechanics of that situation. Apparently there were a few people, and a bird, watching. Read more

  Posted on 30 December 2013 HUMOR

• Long Awkward Pause

  

  Christopher De Voss:Adam and Maddie made a baseball bet, using their blogs as pink slips. Now I don’t watch baseball, but I do know the golden rule of always be... Read more

  Posted on 27 December 2013 HUMOR

• The Gift Of The Scratchi

  Once upon a time, in a little village, just south southwest of Santa’s Workshop, in the North Pole, there lived an older couple. Read more

  Posted on 25 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• When You’re Sick Of Holiday Movies…

  

  Have you had your fill of Rankin and Bass’ stop motion holiday classic; Rudolph the Frosty Grinch? How many times have you watched It’s A Wonderful Miracle on... Read more

  Posted on 23 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• ‘Tis Was The Night Before A Long Awkward Pause Christmas

  

  And all through the officeNot a creature was stirrin’Except for the janitorial guysGridlocked in a caucusBrainRants had hung the stockings with military... Read more

  Posted on 23 December 2013 HUMOR

• Six Christmas Reindeer That Didn’t Make the Delivery Team

  This is a piece that was written by my fellow Pauser, Chowderhead and myself…well to be honest it was about 90% Chowderhead and 10% myself. Read more

  Posted on 21 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• O Christmas Tree : How Eggnog Ruined My Childhood.

  

  You see what had happened was…Ah, the holidays.  The decorations all over town, the smells of fresh baked goods. People packed into the malls fighting over the... Read more

  Posted on 21 December 2013 HUMOR

• Guest Post: The 5 Worst Christmas Presents That You Can Give

  

  Please welcome this month’s Guest Poster, Daniel!Daniel is tall, skinny, and weird. He writes over at http://danielsfunny.com/, which is the funniest place in... Read more

  Posted on 19 December 2013 HUMOR

• Questions For Guadeloupe

  I work with this lovely young woman named Guadeloupe. Whenever I run into her, I like to ask her a random questions. When I do this, she always stops, looks at... Read more

  Posted on 16 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• Acrostic Your Way to Happiness

  Today I will do the unthinkable and solve two problems in one go, both with the use of poetry. Well, acrostic poetry, anyway, which I don’t think counts as... Read more

  Posted on 16 December 2013 HUMOR

• Yay! Sports!

  

  I’m not a sports guy. I think I finally want to be, it seems fun. I like the fact that you get to use the terms “we”, “our”, and “us” when referring to “your”... Read more

  Posted on 13 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• On This Day in Pop Culture History The Captcha Was Born

  

  The topic of Internet Security is hotter than a pancake these days. It seems like every week a new hacker outbreak occurs, and I find myself scrambling around... Read more

  Posted on 13 December 2013 HUMOR

• The Captcha Was Born

  

  The topic of Internet Security is hotter than a pancake these days. It seems like every week a new hacker outbreak occurs, and I find myself scrambling around... Read more

  Posted on 13 December 2013 HUMOR

• Which Would Win In A Fight…Writing Or Child Birth?

  Writing for me is hard. It’s really hard. Writing to me, is like spending days, weeks, months, even years in labor. Pushing and prodding, sweating and cursing,... Read more

  Posted on 09 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• Holiday Movie Previews

  

  As the holiday season begins its downward spiral into an orgy of spending, gluttony and passive-aggressive behavior toward family members, Tinseltown delivers... Read more

  Posted on 09 December 2013 HUMOR

• The Very Worst Driving Instructor In The World (Me!)

  

  The teenage boy is learning to drive. I’m not helping. At all. I’m a bundle of nerves every time I give him the keys. I would prefer that the car be like the... Read more

  Posted on 06 December 2013 ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR

• What Really Sandpapers My Balls – 2nd Ed.

  I’m certain you are all waiting in breathless anticipation for some Ranty® screed about Thanksgiving that will shame, highlight or compliment the other great... Read more

  Posted on 06 December 2013 HUMOR