Awildernesslovestory

LATEST ARTICLES ( 48 )

• Returning

  I haven’t felt myself lately. Where “lately” is “the last nine months or so.” Maybe longer. I was so sick last spring semester that perhaps the depression was... Read more

  Posted on 30 January 2015 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Unexpected Vacation

  I mean, if that’s what you want to call two weeks in the hospital. I’ll spare you details, but it was a couple days in ICU, then I got transferred to a locked... Read more

  Posted on 05 November 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hark! What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks?

  I’ve been wanting to update this thing for a while, but haven’t wanted to update it with the depressing shit that’s going through my brain. Read more

  Posted on 06 October 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Who Invited Her?

  This was said in a joking manner by one of the women I was in a writing group with tonight. Having just shared a toast I had written (to myself), the implicatio... Read more

  Posted on 16 September 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Insidious Whispers and Deafening Screams

  I mentioned in my last post the the dictator has been whispering in my ear lately, trying to convince me that a relapse into old behaviours wouldn’t be at all... Read more

  Posted on 22 August 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Disjointed Thoughts

  I wish I had it in me to write a brilliant, witty blog post. Heck – I wish I had it in me to write a coherent blog post. But time is money or time is sleep or... Read more

  Posted on 18 August 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Grad School, Round Two

  My first full year of graduate school is complete! In three weeks, I’ll start all over again, albeit in a more stable mind and body than this time last... Read more

  Posted on 02 August 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• The New Normal

  I’ve been really unsettled lately. Some of this is just life stuff. Grandparents die. Friends move away. Recovery hits a bump. Higher education necessitates... Read more

  Posted on 30 June 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• It’s My Party…

  and I’ll tell you to shut the fuck up if I want to, okay Dictator? Good. Glad we’re clear.My eating disorder is being insanely loud today. Read more

  Posted on 15 June 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Unrelated

  

  Last Friday was National Doughnut Day. Yes, you read that correctly. There is a National Doughnut Day!!! Naturally, I celebrated with a doughnut.requisite selfi... Read more

  Posted on 10 June 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Good News/Bad News

  Good News: I seem to have figured out what is causing my stomach pains!Bad News: It’s soy, which is a) my primary source of protein and b) in ev.ery.thing. Read more

  Posted on 28 April 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• One Year: Pain, Sadness, and Resurrection Life

  So. On April 10, 2013 I checked in (voluntarily this time!) to Center for Change in Orem, Utah. In a lot of ways, Utah still has a piece of my heart. It... Read more

  Posted on 21 April 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Sick Day

  When I was a kid (and even a tween), sick days were like mini vacations. Sure, I might be vomiting occasionally or barely able to breathe, but I was in bed... Read more

  Posted on 07 April 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Hold the Line

  I struggle sometimes to decide whether or not to leave a post up if I am embarrassed by what I’ve said or no longer feel that way because the situation has... Read more

  Posted on 24 March 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• But Which is Silver and Which is Gold?

  

  Make new friends, but keep the old – One is silver and the other gold.Sometimes, I feel like I don’t matter at all to friends. A good friend of mine is having... Read more

  Posted on 18 March 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• If I Knew Then What I Know Now…

  Four years ago today, I started writing on this little corner of the interwebz. That first post was a sort of tentative “well, I guess I’ll give recovery a... Read more

  Posted on 15 February 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• I Said “Breathe,” Not “Hyperventilate”

  So, yeah. All that adorable optimism and chutzpah in my last post pretty much went out the window by Wednesday. I honestly don’t know that I even have the energ... Read more

  Posted on 03 February 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Just. Breathe.

  Today marks the beginning of my third week back in classes. My course load is considerably heavier than last semester, which makes me unbelievably nervous. Read more

  Posted on 27 January 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• What Do You Call A Cross Between An Elephant And A Rhinoceros?

  

  Elephino.Also the answer to how I managed to break through the wall and do some tangling over the past week. I suspect sub-zero temperatures and the inability t... Read more

  Posted on 10 January 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION

• Stuck

  I feel a bit like Flick in “A Christmas Story” – tongue frozen to the pole, squealing because I can’t get unstuck. Unfortunately, squealing doesn’t do much to... Read more

  Posted on 04 January 2014 HEALTH, SELF EXPRESSION