What was the most painful break up you ever had? Was the question I read on my group. I remember back to almost 6 years now when my own marriage ended. Standing there that Monday morning holding my divorce papers in shaking hands I wept. Crying because my marriage was finally over and that chapter to my life was closed, these papers gave me back so much more than just my maiden name. It gave me freedom.
While divorcing the man who ruled our marriage with fear and mental and physical torture for 11 years would seem adequate to many, I still felt sadness, a sense of failure. I had never once thought I would end our marriage, taking those vows to love and cherish him forever was what I had promised, I do not break promises easily.
The man I had loved and spent so many years of my life with had pushed me to leave him, I tried so very hard, I really did. But in the end I could no longer live the lie, my children were effected and my life was no longer worth living. I lived in fear everyday. Domestic violence stole my happy ever after, my husband and the father to 3 of my children.
11 years of domestic violence I suffered before I succumbed the courage to leave. I did not want to end my marriage, I loved this man and I tried to help him change. I suffered tremendous abuse at the hands of the man who was meant to love and protect me. I had to make a choice, in the end I had to leave him.
While many will ask why I was not throwing a party, the answer is simple. I loved him as much as I hated him and I wanted him as much as I feared him. Domestic violence had stolen my self worth, my confidence, my everything. It robbed me of my life and the ability to keep my children safe.
While leaving my husband was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my children, it is and will always be the most painful break up I have ever had. Walking away after 11 years is very difficult to do.
I ask you to share: What was the most painful break up you ever had?