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Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for the Wedding?

By Tootie2208
This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Wedding Ettiquette
Wedding Ettiquette
  • Victorian Wedding Etiquette
  • Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for the Wedding?
wedding etiquette

Bride & Groom

Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for the Wedding?

Getting married these days can be costly. For brides, before you buy from suppliers of your choice or hire the most costly services of makeup artists, wedding coordinators,  etc, talk to your husband-to-be first and discuss your budget.

Before you go bridezilla by demanding this and that for your wedding, determine who pays for your wedding and who will cover the bigger percentage of your wedding expenses.

Below are the wedding etiquette on who pays or should pay for your wedding. This will serve as a guide for couples who would like to know the basic etiquette in who pays for what.


Traditional Wedding Etiquette – Who Pays For the Wedding?

Wedding Etiquette on who pays for the weddings has evolved for the last century. Traditionally, wedding etiquette books dictate that the bride’s father should pay for the wedding. This was during the time when girls were kept by their fathers inside their house, not being  allowed to work and go to school, but do household chores and they would have lessons  to teach them social etiquette and wedding etiquette in preparation for their life as married women.

A daughter was ‘given’ away by her father to a man who his father thought could feed or fend his daughter when he was gone. And since he would be giving his daughter away, he would host his daughter’s wedding and pay for everything as a sign of his agreement to his daughter’s marriage. This is the traditional wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding.


Modern Wedding Etiquette – Who Pays For the Wedding

Today, wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is not as rigid as it was before. The bride and the groom can go traditional, and thus should ask the father of the bride to host the wedding and pay for the entire wedding expenses. Or if the parents of the groom have expressed their desire to be a co-host of the wedding event, they may do so, especially if the parents of the groom are wealthy and are able to cover some of the expenses.

But since most couples nowadays are both earning their own money, it is not a violation of wedding etiquette if the bride and the groom decide to pay for their own wedding. Some couples prefer to pay for the their own wedding so that they can have more control over the number of guests and who are the persons to invite and how the celebration of the wedding should be held.

Wedding etiquette on who pays for the wedding is, most of the time, being set aside to grant the wishes of the couple and immediate family members.

Alternative Ways of Paying – Wedding Etiquette

Because of the high cost of living these days, paying for the entire cost of the wedding may be beyond the means of the parents of the bride or even of the parents of the groom. If the bride and the groom are earning money for themselves, they may consider paying for the entire expenses fo their wedding.

However, there may be parents who would like to contribute to the wedding cost. Brides and grooms should be sensitive with this matter. Don’t say no to your parents even if you think they will hand to you everything that they have. It is  their joy to see you get married and their pleasure to play a big part of your wedding (that is by shelling out money for the wedding cost).

It is more reasonable if you will sit down with your parents and discuss with them  the projected costs of your wedding and ask them which part of the wedding expenses would they comfortably want to fund. This way, your parents will have an idea of the exact amount that they will shell out while the two of you, bride and groom, will know how much is it that you still need to raise.

Wedding etiquette on who pays for what is not anymore big question these days. The only etiquette that is required of bride and groom is to talk out with their  parents the issue of costs or who pays only if the parents have voiced desire to co-host the wedding affair.

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