Lifestyle Magazine

The Wedding Train

By Patinoz

When I got married more than three decades ago, the prospect of organising everything suddenly loomed like a runaway railway engine screaming down the track, consuming everything in its path.

Well, maybe I exaggerate a little. But as we discussed the when and where and who of it all we decided it was our day and we would do what we liked. We’d been going out together for more than six years so there was no need for a long engagement. The day was set for just over a fortnight later, we invited our respective close families and three newspaper workmates, swearing the latter to secrecy, and took a day off work for the wedding. I even did the catering for the score of us present.

We had a great day.

Since then weddings have become increasingly more complicated. When I told my hairdresser last year that my son had just got engaged she asked when he was getting married.

“In about 15 months,” I said.

“Well they’d better start booking everything now,” she told me.

Someone who knows the truth about that is Mark Connelly who has just written The Last Decision You’ll Ever Make – A groom’s survival guide. There’s a nice wedding day photo of the author and wife Charmayne in the front of the book, so clearly he’s a survivor himself and writes with the voice of experience.

The title itself is telling, semi-indicating that the groom, while important in the overall scheme of things on The Big Day, probably isn’t going to have to decide too much at all. His “last decision” was proposing.

The wedding train

The enemy these days is the wedding industry. Everyone is in for a slice of the action. Even my brief exposure to it amazes me. The magazines, the websites, the books, the specialty stores, the venues, the expos, the packages, Or, as Connelly observes “a cabal of businesses eager to exploit the couple’s desire for a ‘special day’ into an aneurism-producing, cash-sucking vacuum.”

Father of the bride seems to have been let off the solo financial hook. Couples are getting married later in life and are taking on the responsibility for financing their own weddings, perhaps with some parental input from both sides.

The book covers all major areas of concern starting with the proposal paradox. “Most women want the man to propose, of his own accord, but want it done to her timetable and on her terms.” A nice restaurant meal or thoughtful breakfast in bed “maybe overshadowed by your failure to propose.” Just don’t do the sports stadium proposal, Connelly warns.

Then there’s the ring. Resizing of a family ring is a given but completely resetting its stone could offend the family. “Check first and don’t presume.” Prince William was a good boy.

Sometimes for brides there’s been so much planning and build-up to the wedding that a certain amount of let-down is inevitable and she suffers extreme reactions – “a symptom of seeing the wedding only as an end in itself, and not as the beginning of a marriage”. Connelly advises breaks from wedding talk. “Make time for talking about your life after the wedding.”

Groom duties and wedding chores are spelled out but there are other areas where grooms can also do their bit – setting up a website to provide guests with further information like directions, hotel information, things to see and do in the area, a link to the gift registry.

Other chapters deal with the guest list (don’t invite their kids), the budget (Don’t leverage your future for the trappings), dealing with the professionals including contracts with caterers, reception venues, photographers, transport and even wedding insurance (“which doesn’t cover cold feet or a crap marriage”.) Then there’s the reception, the best man, the bridesmaids, the parents, the bucks’ night, the toast, the Big Day. There’s plenty of good information laced with a sense of humour.

Lastly, there’s the rest. And that includes the vexed question of gifts. A gift registry can solve the dilemma for some. But with so many couples marrying later, chances are they already have plenty of toasters, electric jugs, etc.

“If that’s you it’s absolutely fine to suggest cash as a wedding gift,” Connelly says, but he recommends a little sublety – a wishing well or designating a purpose for a contribution such as a piece of furniture or a work of art or some aspect of the honeymoon rather than putting your bank account number on the invitation.

Oh, and check if the passports are current if you’re heading overseas on a honeymoon. It could be a bit early to start divorce proceedings…

This is a fun book and not just for grooms.

The Last Decision You'll Ever Make: A Man's Wedding Survival Guide

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Healthy Cauliflower Pizza!

    Healthy Cauliflower Pizza!

    ‘Can pizza ever be healthy?‘, you may be wondering, as I also did once upon a time. But being a normal human being, I absolutely adore the occasional pleasure o... Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Fitnessontoast
  • How Utilities Are Trying to Slow Down Rooftop Solar

    Utilities Trying Slow Down Rooftop Solar

    GR: Utility companies don’t want you to save money by adopting solar power. Utilities that should earn their public status by working for the common good,... Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Garry Rogers
  • 8 Leadership Lapses Every Business Owner Must Avoid

    Leadership Lapses Every Business Owner Must Avoid

    Even entrepreneurs who have built many startups, or sold their last one for millions of dollars, know they make occasional people leadership mistakes. Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Martin Zwilling
  • What is the Underlying Cause of Addiction?

    What Underlying Cause Addiction?

    Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you and that you’re having an awesome summer. We’ve had a couple of weeks of hot, sticky weather and it’s the type of... Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Lisaorchard
  • Massive Cards

    Massive Cards

    This last year I had less and less time to draw as my research project advanced. It’s sad, but I always knew that it would be difficult to combine science and... Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Matteofarinella
  • Photo Favourite 39 - Swimwear Edition

    Photo Favourite Swimwear Edition

    Summer is often a hard time for plus size people, and swimwear is often a big part of that anxiety. Here i have 13 gorgeous ladies showing you that no matter... Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Boo_brown
  • Odeon: The Gallery

    Odeon: Gallery

    I did this at the Metrocentre cinema for Dunkirk in IMAX.Cool Tables! The staff are fantastic in the bar area and you are given a number with the screen you... Read more

    The 22 July 2017 by   Caz