This is a quick second post of the day and one that I have been so excited to share with you!
Anyone that knows me knows that I have tattoos! They are something that I enjoy and offers me an extra outlet for my creativity! Don't worry this will tie in with the blog I promise!
Since I was diagnosed I feel like I have been living in a strange kind of limbo that I was worried was going to last for life! This is not physical symptoms....they are going to be going nowhere, no this is all about acceptance and emotions! My major issue is the fear of my organ involvement! Being in pain I can handle, but havin my kidneys shut down or my heart involved is utterly terrifying and a helpless situation!
So a few weeks ago I decided that I needed to change this for my own mental health!! I could feel me going down hill emotionally and even though I will have this for life doesn't mean it has to be bigger than me. I needed to act on this and have an end in sight to the limbo effect as I call it.
I am one of those people that if I can see a problem I can deal with it! I find it harder to cope with the internal workings of my body because they can't be seen.....so I needed a way to see them and for me this involved ink.....it was the only way!
I wanted to be able to see my disease and remind myself that I am stronger, tougher and far better than it in every way! On top of this I didn't want to wear a medical bracelet.....even though tattoos are up to the doctors discression in an emergency! So I developed a plan....
I was ready to face my disease head on, wear it on my arm for all to see and be able to remind myself that I can cope with it. I would also like to point out that I am not saying everyone should do this...there are many other ways to externalise your feelings!!!
Would it work? I didn't know but I thought I would give it a go and if it didn't work I have a great tattoo.
But it did work and I am sat here now looking at my disease in the flesh....right there for me to see and I feel lighter. A weight has dropped from my shoulders, suddenly it feels easier to fight against!
So my message to you is to find a way, a breaking point, where you can overcome the limbo and wear your disease with the pride that you are kicking it every single day!
Love cass x
