Hi All,
There are so many articles available as to what the spoon theory is, so I wont go over it all here - see some of the links bellow to get to know this resource - and what a resource it is! However, what I find lacking in much of the Lupus information available (and other diseases) is that there are little personal accounts of how they work in everyday life. This is why i thought I would share my account of how the spoon theory works for me and why I am now obsessed with spoons - I even want one tattooed on my arm.
The basics of the spoon theory
The spoon theory was developed by Christine Miserandino read the theory at "But you don't look sick". So here it is in a quick version - please read the full version as it is extraordinary!
How do you explain what it is like to get through a day with a chronic illness - whatever this is? Well you use metaphors of course - unless you are living it no one will understand fully. So when Christine was faced with having to try and explain her illness to a friend she decided to use cuttlery - well why not! So you take a handful of spoons ad you pass them to a friend - then you ask your friend to use a spoon for every activity you have to do in a single day. This includes getting dressed, eating, cleaning, working etc.
The spoons you have need to stretch for each so you have to think carefully about how you do this! Whilst remembering to hold a spoon back for those moments in life when you simply have a long, hard or stressful day.if you try to do this you will see just how difficult it is to keep all the spoons in check. It is not as easy as you thinkHow do I use my spoons?Well this is where it gets tricky. Everyone will use the theory in their own unique ways. I personally prefer to try and hold back as many spoons a day so I can use them at the weekends, whilst others will have to use them all in one go etc.Getting dressedFor me the morning is the hardest part of my day. I am up early and struggle with Lupus fog as well as pain in the mornings, so simple tasks take that little bit longer to get right - I have got to work and realised the dress I am wearing is inside out! I use quite a few spoons for dressing, from the physicality of it through to choosing what I am going to wear. I use two spoons - one for the mental and one for the physical.WorkingI have to work but above all else I am one of the lucky people that enjoys my job so I don't want to stop. Working is fine in the morning but as the day goes on I get more and more exhausted. For this I use my spoons in the afternoon to keep me going - I have also found that keeping a tally on how many I have used throughout my working day - once I get down to two left I keep them for the afternoon.In the eveningsThis is where you may often find you run out of spoons - it happens often. Sometimes I will use the ones I have saved fro other days and sometimes I will simply have to say no to things. The hardest thing to overcome is the fear of saying no. It is hard to be young and not be able to go for a drink after work or even do the mountain of washing that has built up for days where there are no spoons. This is the hardest thing for me to get my head around. I should be able to clean my house, cook tea and have time for a drink with a friend etc. the answer is though, that i can't do all of this so should I use the one spoon I have left for cleaning or for cooking. Simple - I need to eat so I choose food. The cleaning can wait till tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. One day i will have enough spoons for the washing to get done.How do you use your spoons? Do you save them? Do you have friends who will lend you a spoon?
