Community Magazine

The Hardest Words

By Nina
You'd think the hardest words would be "goodbye" or "I'm sorry" or something like that. But they're not. They're much simpler, even. "I need" is a phrase that rarely comes out of my mouth in reference to anything more than a grocery list. My grandmother passed away this week, and in helping with the funeral plans and trying to ease the burden on my parents, I've noticed something: we all seem to have an easier time volunteering to help than we do admitting when we need someone or something. This is something that my mom, dad, brother, and I all share in common, and it's one of the few unhealthy things we share.
I don't know if this is useful or not, it's just one of the thoughts currently pinging around in my grief-clouded mind, but I fully believe someone needs to hear this: it's okay to say "I need you." It's okay to ask someone to help you out with something. It's okay to ask someone for a hug. It's okay to ask for some alone time to just rest. It's okay to ask someone to come over, or ask someone not to show up. It's okay to ask for whatever you need to protect your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
One caveat - do try to ask in a way that is not damaging to that person's health, either. It does no ultimate good to inflict damage on someone else in order to save yourself.
Bottom Line: Stand up for yourself. Ask for what you need.

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