Problem is that I had never looked at the other side of the equation. I only dealt with him, but hadn't tried to stop her from being offended by every little thing he said. Sure, it was up to my boy to stop pushing her buttons, but it was up to her to not let it get to her. And really, if my job is to raise a strong female human, I can't let her lose it every time someone says something she doesn't like to hear, especially if that someone is a person who loves her and she loves back. If that's how she reacts to her loving brother, how will she deal with really mean kids who may want to destroy her?
I realized it was time to try something new. We were on a highway, and her screaming tears, followed by an even louder, "I'M NOT A POOPY!!!" were driving me insane and making it hard to drive. But since I couldn't stop to have the usual, "You, leave her alone. And you, stop screaming" chat, I turned the music off, and very calmly started talking to her.
She was a mountain. And her brother's words were like the wind. And just like the wind moved up and down a mountain without affecting it or bothering it, her brother's words would just flow by her, and she'd remain strong, calm, and still.
Now, that's not me. I have no idea what exactly I said there, or where this mish mash of Eastern philosophies came from, but she loved it. And since then, every time he says something that makes her upset, I quickly shout, "What are you?" And she shouts back, "I'm a mountain!!!" And she's no longer upset.
Small victories... That's what it's all about.
And next on the agenda, two things:
1. Stopping my boy from saying mean things.
2. Finding a way to apply this to myself. How can I become a mountain?
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