Working in retail is very similar to working with a sea sponge. One major difference is that sea sponges have a purpose in the actions they perform. Retail customers do not. In fact, they seem to have the sole purpose of pure irritation; deaf and mute, and completely incapable of proper manners. Had Buddha as a teenager gotten a job at his local mall, he might have had a different awakening all together. In regards to the story of Jesus cleansing the temple and whipping all the merchants and buyers, I think poor Jesus simply had a mental breakdown: the retail environment will do that do you.
I’ve had the misfortune of answering the most incredible dumb-as-shit questions, and have had to put up with the most idiosyncratic nimrods of this generation, and quite frankly, my opinion of the human race has been tainted.
Retail shoppers are the perfect example of herd-mentality: and they are of the lemming breed. Women who will hold up a shirt and ask “What do you wear this with?”, are the same women who will hold up a pair of leggings and ask “Are these pants?”. I’ve had women pull down their toddlers pants and diaper right in front of my store in order to let their child “make a poopy” in the planter box just outside the entrance.
Today during a downpour, I had a guy come in and shake out his umbrella all over the hardwood floor instead of placing it in the provided umbrella stand.
I often work alone - and when I once stepped off the floor to grab another size for a customer, I had another customer come in, wait for me, then scream at me because I wasn’t there to help her find a top in all of the 2 minutes she had been in the store. “I can only look at the racks so many times!” she yelled.
Then there was the customer who tried to take my shirt off. I had been helping her in trying to find a new pair of jeans, when she suddenly took an interest in my sweater. “Is this a sweater?” she asked. Before I even had time to respond, she grabbed the hem of my top, and lifted it all the way to my chin. “Oh! That’s a pretty color!” she said in reference to my bra.
I once had I customer lurk around the locked store for 15 minutes, pull on the door, and then knock. I opened the door, and she pushed her way through. “Oh! You are open!” she said. “I didn’t know if you were because your Closed sign was up.” I had to politely explain that we were in fact closed - that was why the sign was up, and the door was locked.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that's it's been a rough week. Friday couldn't have come soon enough.
Have you ever worked retail? Do you have any stories?
