I wrote something the other day, exploring the strong possibility that I inherited my Social Anxiety from my mother. It was far too much to Tweet or offer as post on Facebook, and it didn’t fit the criteria for a solid article. It was a blog.
This is something that was completely foreign to me a year ago… The entire internet was foreign territory to me a year ago!
Anyway, I did what I always do when I think my latest journal entry might be insightful, informative, or somehow helpful to someone out there. I emailed it to my good friend “SuperMum” Emma White, who I met via Twitter six months ago, and I asked her to post it on her blog.
This is nothing new, I’ve written several pieces for this site during the last several months and always consider it an uplifting, empowering, and inspiring experience.
My friend’s response was a lot different though… I got back-to-back emails. The first one was the typical, “Of course… I’ll schedule it in chik x.”
The second one caught me off guard though, and twenty-four hours later… I’m still a little shocked!
∞
First, a brief history…
I started opening up accounts with all the popular social networks last October, right before my personal memoir, Surviving the Fourth Cycle, was released. I had overcome a twenty year battle with suicide and was finally learning to live with my mental illness, as opposed to banging my head against a proverbial wall in search of some vague standard of normalcy that I would never achieve.
I wanted to share my story even though a lot of it was extremely unflattering, because I firmly believe there are three aspects to coping with mental illness that are completely unnecessary, and yet substantially add to our suffering… a terrible sense of loneliness, a general lack of understanding, and dealing with harmful stigma.
Therefore, I wanted to share my complicated story in an effort to open some eyes to what living with disorders like these really feels like. I also wanted it out there to remind others, who might be suffering from similar issues, that they absolutely ARE NOT alone in their confusion and pain, and maybe provide a glimpse of hope that, yes… they too will survive.
So, I took to the internet and started introducing myself on various networks, experimenting with concepts that were new to me, but “old hat” to the rest of the world…
“What the hell are tweets and blogs,” I’d ask a slightly amused Hailey (my girlfriend of 9 years). “What do you mean, I didn’t ‘like’ your page? I looked at it… I liked it just fine,” I argued to a, now, wildly amused Hailey.
I had a lot to learn! I still do.
∞
It was scary reaching out into virtual space and wondering if I’d be heard, or how I’d be received by those who did hear me. I was exposing my vulnerability and human weakness, I was divulging secrets that could be used against me, and opening up a closet full of skeletons for the world to pick through, examine, and judge. There was plenty of room for self-doubt, and I certainly wasn’t as confident about my mission as I am today.
I consider myself lucky that Emma was one of the first people to reach back out to me and let me know someone did hear me… loud and clear. More importantly, she made me feel appreciated and important. She invited me to write a guest blog on her site, which I then explored and fell in love with. I was flattered… honored.
This virtual stranger was inviting me to use the impressive platform that she worked hard to build, so I could reach more people than my 24 friends on FB and my 40 followers on Twitter. I didn’t take that concept lightly, and I put pen to paper with my best effort to make this “SuperMum” proud.
That was the beginning of an online, but very real, friendship that transcends, both, geography and the restrictions of our, sometimes, disabling conditions.
∞
Emma and I share mutual respect and admiration for each other and we continue to support each other’s quests and offer understanding during times of tribulation. We’re both very busy parenting and trying to save the world, but always seem willing to stop whatever we’re in the middle of to be there in some small way for each other.
We have a lot in common… important stuff like making sure our kids come first in our lives, and a strong sense of self-awareness and responsibility when it comes to living with our challenging psychological disorders.
We have an insatiable desire to mold the negative aspects of our lives into a positive force, by learning from our mistakes and experiences so that we continue to grow. We also share an unflinching belief, that even though we’re not always capable of helping ourselves, we ARE always capable of helping someone else.
We have a habit of making each other shed tears from across the globe whenever we’ve written about our unique friendship or offered each other sincere words of comfort and support at particularly emotional times. I guess it was her turn…
∞
My email response to my latest blog submission was my own username and password to access The Real SuperMum Blog!!!
“Is she really giving me a set of keys, to the castle!?” I marveled, feeling increasingly emotional.
I’m putting that blog about a possible genetic predisposition to anxiety disorders on the back burner for now. If I’m going to be an official contributor here then I want my first post, moving forward, to express how much that means to me.
I can’t help but see this as the ultimate sign of trust and respect, and the gravity and magnitude of this gesture is definitely not lost on me. I will try to make my friend proud, and access her special corner of the world here with the care and respect it deserves. This is an awesome community that has made me feel safe and at home in an intimidating and overwhelming universe, and I’m ecstatic and proud to be part of it!
Thank you so much.
P.S. Want to read the very first blog I wrote for Emma:
