Life Coach Magazine

Speak Now?

By Nicelise

Speak Now

On the way to work the other morning, I tuned into a John Mayer song and I actually listened to the lyrics. In his song "Say," he sings "You better know that in the end it's better to say too much than to never say what you need to say again." He also sings that you'd be better off instead saying what you need to say "even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken. Even as your eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open, a wide heart."
Well, John, easier said than done.
A good friend and I were recently catching up when the conversation turned to how we communicate with guys we date. With every phone call, conversation and text message we refuse to utter any word that could be interpreted as needy or desperate.
"God forbid you put yourself out there," my moms says, who thinks it is ridiculous that I never say anything that puts me in what she calls a vulnerable position.
As much as I know every guy is different, in both mine and my friend's experience, we had either put ourselves out there and the guy changed his mind or we didn't put ourselves out there and the chase ensued.
Maybe our timing has been off or the guy just wasn't right for us in the past, but the hard part is when you find a guy you are truly interested in and you do put your feelings out there and you're rejected. Of course you don't want to do the same thing after that. There have been times when a guy spilled his feelings to me, but reciprocity still sent him away. Or I just wasn't interested in him enough to reciprocate.
How can you say to yourself "Well at least I told him how I felt," when you are ultimately rejected? The only thing I'm thinking after that is "Damn, I shouldn't have said all of those things to him."
Obviously, putting your feelings out there and basically having them rejected hurts, but is it more difficult to cope with the loss of power? When you say "I really like you," or something else along those lines, the guess work for the guy is over. He no longer needs to "chase" you because he knows you're more than interested in him.
But I have also learned in the past, not being open about how I feel with a guy hasn't exactly turned out great either.
So which is worse? Regretting saying how you feel? Or regretting not saying how you feel?
Depending on they type of person you are and how open you are about your feelings, it might be hard to see things down the road when you're in the moment deciding to speak up or hold it in. If you think about it, if you just go with it and say how you feel and ultimately get rejected, at least you know how the situation ended. And it probably wouldn't have mattered if you said it or not, that person's feelings towards you wouldn't have changed.
But not saying how you feel could leave you wondering how things would have been if you had said what you were thinking and feeling. What if he was waiting for you to spill your feelings first? What if he wasn't sure how you felt about him? At least for me, that type of regret is much harder to get over.
xoxo Nickie

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Shilo Sanders- Son Of Deion Sanders Thanks Courts For Allowing Him To Live With...

    Shilo Sanders- Deion Sanders Thanks Courts Allowing Live With Pilar

    ChristianNews Shilo Sanders, the son of NFL Hall of Famer,  Deion Sanders took to twitter to “thank” the courts for allowing him to live with his mother, Pilar... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Firstladyb
  • “I Feel Great”

    Feel Great”

    Jakub went to his doctor's office believing that he had a back injury, but returned with a chocking diagnosis instead. He had type 2 diabetes - in spite of... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Dietdoctor
  • July Allotment Recap (2/2)

    July Allotment Recap (2/2)

    Sunday afternoon saw us return bravely to 24a even though there were more thundery showers foretold by the weatherman. I will admit that I guffawed at the... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Chrryblossomtat2
  • Culinary Delicacies in Croatia- What to Eat and Drink in Croatia

    Culinary Delicacies Croatia- What Drink Croatia

    In my earlier post, we spoke about how Croatia is a stunning European destination, let us now see what are the culinary delicacies in Croatia or what you can... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Kash Pals
  • #Golf Training Aids Spotlight: The Delta Putt

    #Golf Training Aids Spotlight: Delta Putt

    Do you consider yourself to be a strong putter or do you feel you could improve your make percentage on the green? Most amateurs could use help with the flat... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Golfforbeginners
  • Three Incredible Hikes in Southern Iceland3 Min Read

    Three Incredible Hikes Southern Iceland3 Read

    Nature takes center stage in Iceland, where there's a stunning view around every bend: massive glaciers, expansive lava fields, powerful waterfalls, black sand... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Healthytravelblog
  • What I Wore: Daytime Pajamas

    What Wore: Daytime Pajamas

    Pajama top: ELOQUII (14) | Pajama pants: ELOQUII (14) | Shoes: ASOS (similar) | Earrings: J. Crew ( same in different colors, similar concept in same color) |... Read more

    The 04 August 2017 by   Wardrobeoxygen