Spanking Can Get You Jailed

Spending four years in Sweden made me view motherhood from a different perspective and allowed me to reflect on things that I would not have if I had never traveled afar. The way that Swedes let their children play by beaches, roll in mud and hang upside down from monkey bars while Singaporeans let our kids glue their eyes to iPads and iPhones, the cultural differences did make me rethink about how I wish to bring up my girls.
The one big difference we have between the two lands is how we punish a child. I remember my fellow friends giving me kind advice after Angel came along and the most memorable line was "Remember not to hit your child, at least not in public, because it is illegal here in Sweden".
Yes, you read it.Illegal. For those of us who got hit on the hand with a ruler, slapped on the face or even caned by our parents, does this come as a surprise to you?
Did you know?

All forms of corporal punishment, including spanking, slapping, pinching, hair-pulling and whipping, are illegal and severely frowned upon in Sweden. 
The Nordic country became the first to ban physical punishment against children under any circumstances, both at home and in school, on March 15, 1979. 24 other countries have also banned child punishment since then.
Sweden’s Children and Parents Code does not carry any penalties but parents are liable to be jailed for between six months and 10 years, depending on the severity of the crime, under Section 5 of the Swedish Penal Code.
Even though I don't do it openly in front of others, back at home in Singapore when it is just another crazy day with two kids threatening to leave me with zero sanity, I, for one, am guilty of hitting my big girl now and then. No matter how hard I try to leave it as the absolute last resort, it doesn't change the fact that I have done it because sometimes, I am totally at my wit's end of how else I can make her listen and obey.
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Yesterday, I read in the news that A Malaysian couple is being held by Swedish authorities for allegedly hitting one of their children. Azizul Raheem Awalludin, the Tourism Malaysia director in Stockholm, and his wife Shalwati Nurshal, a secondary school teacher, had reportedly struck their 12-year-old son for not performing his prayers.
The incident started when Azizul and Shalwati had allegedly scolded their 12-year-old son for failing to perform his prayers and hit him on his hands.
Although the boy did not suffer any bruises, he was feeling a bit down and his teacher at school noticed his dispirited outlook. After the boy told the teacher, the school counselor was informed and a report was lodged with Swedish authorities.
"Within a day, the children were removed from the school and both Azizul and Shalwati were arrested and taken into custody," the source told The Star.
(Extracted from Asiaone. For the full news article, click here)
Since there is no bail system in Sweden, those arrested can be held in custody until the trial is completed. If found guilty, the couple face a mandatory jail sentence of at least nine months. What dismayed me most to know was that if found not guilty, the parents would still lose custody of their children. In order to reclaim custody, the Malaysian couple would need to apply to the court to get their children back.
Yes, it is that serious.
Since the father has been working in Sweden for three years and the mother is a school teacher, it is likely that they are fully aware of the law and from how I see it, it might just have been a light hit on the spur of the moment. The boy probably suffered more emotionally rather than physically and if I were him, having indirectly caused the parents to be in custody and himself and three siblings to be in foster care, it must be a terrible, terrible feeling.
Well, one way or another, I just hope the family can be reunited soon and will take this incident as a lesson learnt about the cultural differences in raising a child between countries.
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Some social psychologists claim that corporal punishment might make a child become conditioned to pain, making the punishment lose its meaning and thus serves no purpose. Worse, if it becomes hard to draw a line, abuse might follow.
While it is easy to say that parents should always explore other options such as giving incentives or removing privileges, coming from experience, I know how challenging it can be and much as it is against your own will and how badly it breaks your heart, you turn to physical punishment.
I like to think of myself as quite a patient person but there are indeed times when after countless sessions of talking, teaching, nagging and reprimanding which fail to work, I turn to hitting. Especially when the big girl does something dangerous or causes hurt to the baby sister. By the way, I hate the cane and have only used it a couple of times before I decided not to touch it for as long as I can. But hitting on the hand, thighs and butt, yes I have done them plenty of times and I'm owning up to them. Except in the case of psychopaths, I never believe that it makes any parent happy about beating up their own child. I dread doing it and it is ironic that I still do it because on days like these, both of us just end up with tears on our pillows when we go to bed.
Well, I guess it is time for me to go and do some self-reflection as a mom and how I can better nurture my children. Today, I plead guilty.
Some people say it is never right to hit a child. Others say it is the best way you can discipline a kid.  What is your take on this? Are you for or against corporal punishment?