While the Emmy’s red carpet last night was by and large a huge snooze fest (seriously, is there anything more bland than a blonde wearing a beige gown the color of her skin with STUDS?) We can’t even isolate Claire Danes on that offense, because notoriously boring January Jones wore even less jewelry with her flesh toned Givenchy lace dress. Remember when she wore that crazy red gown? Those were the good old days. But actresses last night seemed determined to excuse Ryan Seacrest’s refusal to ask about jewelry designers by simply not wearing any. And, just for some negative reinforcement to discourage Ryan from ever getting the hang of asking who lent these women expensive jewelry, girls like Cobie Smulders flat out forget who they’re wearing. We love Cobie (mostly because we think she’s Robin in real life and we’re smitten with her husband Taran Killiam), but if you forgot Ramona Keveza designed your dress, you’d be wearing Jessica McClintock to the Golden Globes. We won’t be surprised if you’re wearing your own jewelry on the next red carpet. Anyways, with stars determined to bore the pants off of jewelry lovers everywhere, there wasn’t much eye candy on this red carpet. A few standouts were few and far between (looking at you Anna Faris and Padma Lakshmi) and Fred Leighton knocked Lorraine Schwartz off her diamond covered pedestal. But one woman can always be counted on to bring the drama, the diamonds, the Lorraine – and the cleavage. That would be non other than Sofia Vergara.
If Sofia doesn’t make you smile we can’t help you. Her ridiculous body, reliably tight mermaid gowns, fantastically huge diamonds and thick Colombian accent get us every time. Sofia knows what she looks like, she knows what she sounds like, and she’s in on the joke. So with this girl, more is always more. We love her because she never shies away from applying this philosophy to her jewelry choices. Sofia paired her skin tight Vera Wang with fabulous Lorraine Schwartz earrings featuring rubies, sapphires, and emeralds the size of our eyeballs.
On her hands, she wore a gorgeous and huge emerald cocktail ring (which was eschewed from discussion for a Cover Girl plug about Sofia’s manicure. The color? nude.) The 18 carat sparkler was the perfect match to her tri colored precious gem earrings, balancing the proportions of both the stones (and her cleavage) nicely. It sounds skeevy, but Sofia sticks to large earrings for a reason. It’s the same reason she likes to wear the same mermaid silhouette – it works for her body. Really, really well.Honestly, when Julie Bowen tried to crack wise about how she kow-tows to Sofia by asking what she’s going to wear on the red carpet, it kind of makes sense – Sofia’s going to wear a jewel tone, it’s going to be a tight mermaid (trumpet if she’s feeling crazy) and she’s going to rock massive jewels by Lorraine Schwartz. It’s easy to dress around her! But we do wish Julie would take a page from Sofia’s book and start racking up a couple million in borrowed jewelry – it makes life so much more interesting!
