Very recently a cousin meet a guy in Match.com and after months of dating they are now engaged to be married in October. Which makes me very happy for my cousin, yet egocentric as I am, I can't help but think what this means for me.
I realized I'm the oldest unmarried cousin in both sides of the family, I don't even have a divorce I can mention or kids. In the U.S. this is still acceptable thanks to the scores of celebrities having kids late in life and it's not unheard of that someone my age or older can still get hitched.
BUT I come from a Mexican family and I cross the border a lot. In Mexico, I no longer get the question "When are you getting married?" or the "You'll meet someone, you'll see!". Now I get "So, you never married", as if I was doomed to spinsterhood and should just give up.
The first time I got it was from a distant female cousin, I have to admit I did feel offended. I said something like "I'm not dead, it could still happen" and she tried to make it better with a "Of course it will, you'll meet someone, you'll see."
The second time was not said to my face, rather a male cousin said that to my sister. I know my sister defended my honor!
The third time was my Dentist, by now I'm just taking it as a joke, so this time I replied "Ah no! Why bother! That's too much trouble" he and his assistant both laughed and the assistant added that if she got divorced she would never marry again.
This guy has been my Dentist for the last 7 years or so and he knew about my previous engagement. When he asked about that I said it was over, the guy cheated on me and he said "See? You're single just because you don't know how to share." By now the anesthetic kicked in and I couldn't respond, but I think he was serious. He's on his second marriage, maybe the first wife didn't like to share either, who knows!
Fortunately, my immediate family doesn't give me a hard time. I've never conformed to the norm, for example, in Mexico it is custom for men and women to live at home with the parents until they are married, no matter the age (hence the hourly-motel booming business). I, on the other hand, not only moved out of the house single, but to another city and country with my family's complete blessing.
Fortunately, thanks to Facebook my family can see that I'm not all alone in San Diego, with only my cats and TV as company. Still, I think it's time for me to venture out and start dating again. The time I took off was very good for me, gave me time to work on other projects, but now I can start hunting again. Wish me luck!
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