Seven ways to bring fun back into your relationship
When relationships turn stale or are challenged, retaking that lovin’ feelin’ can mean work, a lot of work
So, where’s the fun in that?
Couples trying to rejuvenate their marriages often appear resigned to “do what has to be done” to get their relationship back on track. While they want a positive end result, the thought of what it will take to get there is exhausting. Does this have to be the case?
To paraphrase Scott Peck in his book The Road Less Traveled, life is difficult, but once we realize that life is difficult, it is no longer difficult. How does this make sense? Have you ever avoided a chore or obligation because you thought it was impossibly difficult to do? Once all your reprieves were exhausted and you simply had to do it, were you surprised the obligation was much easier to accomplish than you expected?
If the concept of “fun” was added to the “work” required to mend a tattered relationship or grow a good one, connecting with each other might be easier. Think of the happy lyric, “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work we go!” Maybe the seven dwarfs had something there!
The dictionary defines fun as “a time or feeling of enjoyment or amusement.” You and your partner must have had fun sometime in your relationship – rekindle those times and enjoy each other again.
Easier said than done, you say. But, try these seven suggestions and reconnect in pleasurable ways without demands. The results may surprise you.
- Tell jokes. Find a joke each day and share it by email, text, or in person.
- Take a class together. Try ballroom dancing, cooking, music, painting, or anything that seems like fun to do together. You might learn something too!
- Try new outdoor activities like sailing, walking, hiking, or gardening.
- Plan to get away as a couple. The ultimate goal is to create romance, but “pressure to perform” can make the time away uncomfortable.
- Travel, even if just for a day. Find interesting places to explore together. Your own backyard is a good place to start.
- Play board games – a little competition never hurt.
- Rekindle intimacy. If this part of your relationship has been dormant, start with the little things like holding hands or a playful squeeze.
Mending or maintaining relationships takes work, but part of the work can be having fun together. It’s difficult for couples to stay upset or angry when they’re enjoying each other or exploring new things. It’s a paradigm shift to turn relationship work into fun, yet still reap the benefits hard work delivers.
Go for it, my friends, go for it!
