Becoming a Mom is every woman's dream. Holding my baby for the very first time was the most magical moment of my life- a moment that made me feel proud for bringing a human life into this world. While nurturing the embryo, taking care of the baby in the womb, and eventually giving birth to your child might seem like the hardest thing a woman has to do but raising a child, a responsible one is even harder. Every mom wishes and strives for their children to be kind, compassionate, loving, caring, and good human beings. She gives the best she can to raise responsible kids.
I am thankful for my husband who allowed me to be home, so that I could enjoy the first five years of our daughter's life. He provided for everything so that I could focus solely on bringing up our child. I spent all this time giving my best shot at being a mother, focusing on instilling core values, sharing knowledge about our culture, teaching multiple languages and making sure our daughter received the best early on.
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While it may not be possible for every mom to be a stay-at-home trophy mom, but there are millions of ways to be a good mom and to raise good children. Disclaimer: I ain't any professional when talking about children and the right way to bring em up, but I am a mom who lives and desires for her child to be a responsibly good human-being. More so, every child is different and my beliefs and ideology as a mom might not necessarily confer with yours. But coming from a joint family, growing up with cousins, and three siblings of my own- I've seen a lot.
Teaching your child to be responsible, independent, respectful, mannerly, compassionate, and loving should be started early on. What you teach them at home in their early childhood will always stay with them and help them fair well as human beings. Below are just some of the common practices both hubs and I strongly embrace and believe in. These are our everyday hacks that we believe will help Riri develop into a brighter/ smarter child.
Be your child's friend, listen to them, respect them, respond to them, address their concerns, make them feel heard. Ignoring their opinion or not quelling their quest will just leave them feeling invaluable. This way they will lose trust in you and will stop confiding in you.
Don't shy from disciplining and it should be introduced early on too. I won't deny that both hubs and I are strict parents, but we know when to draw a line and when to let our guards loose. Riri's thrives well on a discipline which sure brings out the productive side in her. We also respect the timeliness of her things, for instance we have an unwavering routine for her sleep time. No matter what she has to be in bed between 8:30-8:45, except for Fridays when she gets to watch a movie. A well rested child will always be the best version of herself.
If your kids are old enough then allow them to take the initiative, encourage them to take the lead. Ever since we got Maze, we let Riri answer all our neighbor's questions about Maze. This helps your kids overcome fear of public speaking, it helps them polish their leadership skills, and it also helps them learn public mannerisms. We've noticed a change of tone in her voice, she sounds more confident, more in control.
Let your kids run some errands for you. We let Riri pick up stuff from smaller convenient stores with a couple aisles, at stores where she wouldn't get lost between aisles. In larger stores we stand behind and let her self check-out grocery and pay for the same. This teach her money management and following directions and working on to-dos .
Never reward them for chores. Chores are the everyday things which we all have to do for all our lives, so don't make it optional. Children need to learn these life skills, no matter what- so no rewards for chores.
Reward and acknowledge them for any additional task you assign them. This will keep them motivated and encourage them to give their best at doing it. They need to learn that nothing in life comes free and one has to work hard for it. Whenever Riri makes an appearance on the blog, she gets paid. Whenever she uses the DSLR to take my photos, she gets paid. She keeps a log of her earnings and maintains a timesheet for payment. This teaches her hard work, and time and money management.
Don't be hover parents, meaning don't always supervise and plan for your kids. Let them play on their own, let them get bored, let them use their imagination to entertain themselves. TV or screen should not be offered during this downtime. This will help them widen their imagination and think beyond their normal.
Don't compare your child with other children. Every child is different, every child's skills are different , so don't impose your competitive emperament on them. Being competitive is good, but not always healthy. Indian parents generally have the tendency to compare their children with other children, as a result of which we end up putting too much pressure on our kids to be someone else. This might help in the short run but in the long run your child will loose his/her perspective. Let them be who they are, let their inner talent flourish, rather than pushing them to be in someone else's shoes.
Involve your kids in adult discussions, whenever appropriate. Hubs and I have been contemplating making some renovations around the house and we involve Riri in all our conversations pertaining to remodeling and renovating. She has been watching home-improvement shows, taking ideas and contributing quite a lot towards our plan. She loves it, she gives creative ideas and being involved in this entire process gives her a sense of belongingness and that entrepreneurial drive.
Teach your kids to be a part of the community. We have taken Riri for so many volunteering opportunities, both at the Indian temple and other charitable organizations. This teaches them empathy, love, care, and selflessness. The smile and shine that you see on your child's face after doing good and bringing one value to her community is priceless.
Give your child the power of religion and the gift of religious principles. Your child should be free to follow any religion of their own, but knowing that there is a central force will keep them grounded, especially in desperate times. We made sure Riri knew her religion, her core values, her culture and her Hindu scriptures too. We would always say out our mantras loud with her and now she knows so many. We have seen her chanting her Hindu mantras whenever she is uneasy, and until she feels calm and has regained ease. There is nothing more empowering as parents to see your child channel their inner strength and calm.
Give them unconditional love. Be role models to your children. What the kids see and learn at home from their parents lays the foundation for a child's mental, physical and psychological growth. Remember materialistic things don't count as love. Bestowing your children with materialistic things and calling it your love will do no good to them. Soon they will stop valuing things and will become the demanding types. You want to teach your children to value life, to value time, to value things and to value their privilege of being sent to this earth as humans.
These are just some of our beliefs as parents, would like to learn about yours....
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