Okay, so I hope I don’t I sound as ANGRY as I really am. I picked this word out of ignorance, in my own ignorance and I am like, SOc9hallenged!!?!!? I feel like I don’t even have a clue what it really means.
It sorta has me up at night, wrestling with myself. It really does. I like the fact that my spirit speaks louder than I do, sometimes yet I dont’ like having to think so much about doing what’s BEST everytime I do something first! ( I know, it sounds insane, a little bit doesn’t?) I think being so challenged by things tat are right to do, vs. what was convenient to do – can be a very nice spiritual experience. And spiritual.experiences require that I be obedient to listen to ito my unconscious self. Its beginning to make me think about how much time we actually spend in our “conscious self”.
My husband said something recently about how the reason the Children of Israel did not make it to the Promised Land was be used internally they needed more for what it take in order to survive in that space. The Promised Land came with conditions, capacity, and a conscious. Were they really ready for what it would require of their souls? Did they have the right equipment? Would they really survive what was ahead? And what really WAS ahead ?
Like the Children of Israel, I too, have some selfish ambition. I often want to (please my flesh) or “want what I want”. But God recognized ho selfmish they were and sent ‘manna’to deal with their souls. To bring leanness to their souls. Or get rid of unnecessary obstacles that would not prevent The Promise.
So instead of wanting what I want, I am learning how to better settle for what God wants.
AMEN. (So be it.)
