Love & Sex Magazine

Picky

By Maggiemcneill @Maggie_McNeill

Last Thursday I came upon this link to an article in Raw Story (a website which has drifted so far from its original premise it really ought to consider a name change): Picky

President Donald Trump eats like a 6-foot-plus, 240-pound petulant child…He’s set to embark on his first official trip overseas…with pit stops in Saudi Arabia, Israel, Belgium, Italy and the Vatican—something he’s reportedly pouting about, huffing and puffing that the nine-day excursion is far too long.  Worse yet: none of the places he’s visiting have a Trump-branded hotel with workers that are duty-bound and practiced at serving him his favorite meals.  A quick rundown of a few things we know about Trump’s dietary habits:  He likes his $54 dry-aged steak charred into beef bricks so well-done they clank and rattle the plate.  A healthy slather of ketchup serves as the finishing touch…Trump is a noted lover of fast food:  McDonald’s burgers and Kentucky fried chicken are staples…Trump appreciates the salty, fatty, uncomplicated food for taste but perhaps even more for its uniformity in preparation and cleanliness standards…He once ate a pork chop on a stick at the 2015 Iowa State Fair, and while it’s not fair to call the delicacy a staple in Trump’s diet, he seemed to really enjoy it.  That in mind, this trip is going to be a nightmare for Trump’s stomach.  While some might consider trying other cultures’ foods a valuable and exciting experience, the president is a man of routine who is about to lose control over his meal plan…

There are so many real things to attack Trump about; do we really need to waste time on his having an immature palate?  I know lots of people who are finicky eaters; even some of my own preferences (I don’t like uncooked or undercooked food and I despise green, leafy vegetables) trigger the smugness of food snobs.  In food as in sex, people like what they like and that’s OK; nobody, not even a narcissistic sociopath, should be shamed for having tastes others deem “abnormal”.  Really, y’all, I get the desire to attack Trump in every way possible; I feel that about all politicians.  But this scattershot approach hits a lot of innocent targets & makes y’all look like hypocrites if you support people’s right to be individuals; preference shaming is as odious as queer-shaming and slut-shaming.

Furthermore, there’s this weird and Puritan-smelling attitude that being a picky eater is somehow fun, because all adults must force themselves to eat food they find disgusting, or something; dominatrix Emma Evans debunked that ridiculous notion in this Twitter thread last Friday.  My own aversions are much less pronounced and far less numerous than hers, but I recognize much of what she writes here and can attest to the misery she describes.  The only thing I need to add is that, when the food that makes you puke most is green, leaf vegetables, expect everybody to insist that it’s all in your head and/or that you’re being childish.  A person can say, “Oh, I don’t eat meat”, and that’s OK, or he can say, “Oh, I can’t eat white carbs”, and everybody respects that.  But say you can’t eat crap that smells like cut grass & tastes worse and people insist you’re a case of arrested development. I’ve actually, on MANY occasions, had people violate my consent by sneaking green shit into my food and then crowing triumphantly when I consumed it, as though my not reacting to something I couldn’t see, smell or taste magically proved some profound insight.  Now just imagine the things people would say if you were to sneak almost any other kind of food into the plate of someone who had clearly expressed that they wouldn’t consume that food (a vegan, an observant Jew, whatever); people would correctly brand you an asshole.  But not for “veggies”.  The truth is that Westerners have some kind of sick religious attachment to the supposed magical health-giving properties of leaves and they take it as sacrilege when a heretic like me refuses to participate.Picky  They get even more annoyed because I’m so healthy in most ways (few colds, no weight problems, etc) despite my refusal to channel Elsie the Cow when sitting down to enjoy a nice meal.  So as you can imagine, I’m not exactly patient with arguments that a thoroughly awful person is somehow even more awful just because he has a narrower range of preferences than the average person; by that argument, we bisexuals are clearly superior to all you heteros & homos, and should therefore mock you as “petulant children” for not fucking people you aren’t attracted to.


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