Today I have been reminded of certain aspects of life that are all took easily forgotten! Today I said goodbye to a member of my family, a sad yet humbling thing to do.
It has been a tough day but it reminded me of one important fact about life.......it is here to be lived!!! We all have our scars, but why should they stop us from being the person we want then to be.
Pessimistic me....
I have spent to many years thinking that I am to ill to do anything or maybe I am not deserving of anything......I am ill, so living the life I want is over.
Firstly I would like to say that this is probably a natural reaction to becoming ill. Possibly something that many of is go through and a faze that is needed in order to heal.
However pessimism comes at a price and for me, that price has been the majority of my twenties! Something that I have to come to terms with in my own time.
It is all too easy to give up and simply say I've had enough. Where's the fight gone, where's the sunshine in that life?
Optimistic
Yes I am ill....fact! I feel ill and I feel angry because of that. But it will never stop me and today just proved why. If I do I willmiss out on more than just my twenties! I would never have travelled, something I hold dear to my heart. I would never have swam 10k for the stroke association, I would never have landed a job I love! But most of all I simply wouldn't get out of bed.
Don't get me wrong, it was hard to travel when I felt like my body was breaking, it was a ridiculous challenge to swim non stop for 3hours and 30 minutes and it is even harder to make sure I do the job I love. However I do it because I want to live, I want to feel alive and most of all I want to breathe......just feeling my breathing reminds me how lucky I am.
Yes I have lupus but yes I am living......
