© Shell & Her Daughter Katie
I think a lot of people underestimate stay at home mums. Some have one child or two but it’s a whole new ball game balancing five, it’s a skill and others brush it off or make you feel less than worthy if you struggle sometimes – Says Shell
I’m Shell; I’m 34 and live in Manchester. I live with my partner of 13 years and my five children. They are Dylan whose 11, Katie whose 9, Alex whose 8, Lewis whose 5 and Oliver whose 2.
I became a stay at home mom with my first child as I wasn’t long out of hospital. My partner and I felt I coped better being the main carer than him and so he wanted to be the wage earner. It worked well for us and has remained that way for nearly twelve years now.
My partner doesn’t know the kids like I do and so struggles to look after them all the way I do. So I don’t feel comfortable leaving them with him for long periods of time and he doesn’t like being stuck at home.
I think for the most part I do enjoy being a stay at home mom. I definitely don’t want to work and I’m lucky in that I don’t have to. I have that option; I’m not a people person. I panic and get scared around people whereas my partner is very sociable.
I like watching my children grow and learn. I feel sorry for my partner as I have a million little memories to treasure that he doesn’t have as he hasn’t been here for their first words, first walk, trying food and all the little funny things kids do.
The downside to being a stay at home is the children themselves. They take everything from me, in the literal sense, every thought, feeling, and emotion. They zap every bit of time and energy. Its difficult to stay happy all the time.
Sometimes it feels like they have sucked my soul away.
As much as I love and worship them they require me 100% and that’s something I still struggle with.
I get urges to rebel sometimes and go read a book for ten minutes without them or watch something other than Peppa Pig.
I think a lot of people underestimate stay at home mums. Some have one child or two but it’s a whole new ball game balancing five, it’s a skill and others brush it off or make you feel less than worthy if you struggle sometimes.
My advice to anyone who wants to be a stay at home mom is without a doubt do it. It’s not easy but it’s worthwhile every second of every day.
It’s a beautiful thing to teach your children, to watch them and be a part of that growth.
As a person I love to read, I read all sorts. I don’t have a lot of time for it but I do it when I can.
I love to write about things that will help someone else. I write poems and articles for people who need or ask for them, charities or personal friends who want a personal piece of writing. Charities use my words, then auction them and others put them in coffins at funerals or to celebrate something.
Each one is unique to them and nobody else will have one like it. It’s the only thing I do that’s purely me, my thoughts, my heart and my work.
Being a stay at home mom is a twisted sword, the one side is the negatives but the flip side is just so magical. Nothing else comes close to being a mom.
I have no regrets at all.
Do you think people underestimate stay at home mums?
