NHS left me screaming for hours in pain while I went into premature labour Not only that they accused me of abuse to my own child
I
don't know how to start this blog post its the hardest piece I have ever had to write but I would like to take you all on a journey through what happened in my life........I met the love of my life on February 16, 2008- yes on match.com and we will be celebrating our 7 year together in feb.
Me and my partner (Jonathan) soon got settled into our new home and I become pregnant in June 2009 but was soon not to be as we suffered a miscarriage on
13/07/09 that's the day I had a scan about finding out the baby or (fetus) was on its way out of my body naturally as I was only around 7 weeks but it still hurt to loose something we had been trying for.
I was not right for a few weeks, but something inside gave me the strength to say "NO" I will not let this get the better of me, I don't know if it was my tablets kicking in or the will power of I will try again so we did and found of out around October 2009 I was pregnant, we were very happy but a little curious.
First scan!was 12 weeks pregnant round November the 14th 2009 on the 27th we got some bad news my mothers mom had passed away my Gran. She had Alzheimer's my gran did have breast cancer, but thank goodness she beat that side of it, unfortunately on my dads (dad) did not and I watched him pass away when I was a little. Later, my dad's mother passed away as well.
I was not having a very good pregnancy as I just kept getting water infection after water infection I must of had round 7 of themand the water infection would become my nemesis soon.
January 13, 2010 20weeks scan.February 6, 2010
Jonny aka (daddy) felt bump kick me 2day at 24 weeks.Finished work for my maternity leave round 12 of march 2010 I was soon to find out why this was a good idea.AS around the 23rd on march 2010 I was not feeling right was only coming up to 30 weeks, jonny and I sat down to watch a film that night, It was like a wave of pain I have never felt before (was contractions not to be known at this time )So Jonny rang the ward at first was saying ohhh its your water infection I did tell them no, it's a very bad pain , we did eventually get into the ward round some time at 10pm as was a little blood I had passed. Was put on monitors only, but they all kept saying again to me its just your water infection I said its not that is something else wrong. I was allowed some pethidine for the pain jonny did have to go home as the ward does not allow men to stay .I did nod off a little, but the pain was still in the background I ended up passing the room up & down. I was told in the morning when jonny found me still in pain that the nurses said "ohhh she has been fine and fast asleep " . What I joke I had been in pain the whole time and walking the floors of the word.
It was that bad I was rolling in around in pain screaming for someone to help me no one came even jonny asked and ohh be with you soon it took 4 hours for someone to see me and examine me was two new young doctors they just said to me your fine .Later, when sat on the bed, I felt a gush it was my waters breaking.Well then they came over as my partner (jonny) said waters just gone, they examined me again and was 2cm dilated I was shocked and so scared as I knew something was not right but no one would listened to me well now they did but was too late.
If they had gone all this properly and checked me I do believe I would have not been in this situation I never got the groups to help my baby's lungs as they had left it too late, but that point I was not even think straight it was only after I was so shocked.
No time for an epidural my baby was coming at 30weeks 10weeks early then should of.Millie was born on the 25th of march weighing a very small 3lbs & 12oz.
Was not allowed to see our daughter till they had got her in the incubator and all hooked up.We did get to see her later on it was like a lifetime waiting. One of the SCBU nurses wheeled me over, I always remember her, she was so kind and put my mind at ease well unit I got into the room. Millie was not breathing on her own and we found her with all the equipment all over her and machines, nurses and consultant's all around her. I think what got us the most at first is all the sounds and noises going off from all the machines, I could feel myself getting more and more upset and worried by each minute.
Looking at my precious little daughter all hooked up just shows how vunerable Millie was and close to death. Millie ended up on CPAP machine.CPAP machine gently inflates Millie's lungs and helps to keep them open. Air goes in through a mask or via a tube in baby's nose called a nasal cannula.
We found out not long after that Millie had Hydrocephalus and has had two brain surgeries for a access device and the other for a shunt due to been premature if they had listened to me they could of stopped this, my daughter would not be disabled and have this from the neglect of care from the NHS Baby number 2 Alfie born in June 2012 my son is now 2 years old..........
On the 11th of November 2014 My daughter got very ill and had to take her to the Nero ward to have her checked out was very lucky it had been a false alarm ,we had to go back the next next to make sure the pressure behind her eyes was ok as this can be a system of a shunt malfunction
Jonny and I plus Millie and Alfie all went it took around 3 hours to be seen on ward 52 at LGI while my daughter was getting her eyes looked at I had Alfie in the play area he was trying to get to his sister he is very big for his age so I do struggle with him as I am only Small.
Alfie dived in to the main area to find Millie he was kicking and screaming he ended up falling over but I could not pick him up as he was too strong as not even taking him under his arms would work so I pulled him up with his hood as this was the only way I could get hold of him so that was the end of that well so I thought.
Today I got a phone call from socialservices saying that a nurse/person on ward 52 of Leeds General Infirmary said I pushed him into the wall I was so shocked and could be believe what I was hearing.All my life I help others and live with the guilt about my daughter and they come up making stories and not getting there facts right we even asked did they know my daughter was getting her eyes done and they said "No" so why accuse me of abusing my own kid when they did not even know why we was all in hospital.This has shocked me so much I suffer with depression I feel I want to take my own life that I have failed as a parent when all my life I have to life with my daughter been disabled because of the NHS lack of knowledge and neglect.How dare they make me feel and hurt me in this way all I want is someone to say sorry it was a mistake I feel I can never go on I hope you are all happy with yourselves for making a parent suicidal.
