Hello everyone, I hope all is well with you. I’ve had a busy week at work and writing. So, it’s all good. We’ve had unseasonably warm weather this month, and I’m enjoying it by getting outside as much as possible.
But enough about that. Today, I’d like to talk about the pressures on our young people as they navigate their way to college and a career. I remember when I enrolled in college all the anxiety I felt, and there was excitement, too.
When I look back on my college years, I remember the anxiety and the stress vividly. There were days when I didn’t want to be there, and days when I didn’t think I could take one more minute. As I look back, I realize this was self-induced. I put pressure on myself.
I see the anxiety in my boys as they start navigating college classes, and I remember a friend of mine who’s son struggled with school, and he ended up fatally shooting himself. So, I’m listening to my kids when they talk about school.
My oldest wanted to take online classes because he’s nervous about driving to campus in all the traffic. My hubby thinks it’ll be good for him to drive to school and take some “in the classroom classes.” It would be good for him socially as well as build his confidence in his driving ability and his ability to navigate the world around him. I agree with my hubby, however, we listened to our son and allowed him to take classes online for another semester.
The reason we did is because it took a lot of courage for my son to admit he was nervous. I appreciate the fact he told me, and I think it’s so important to listen to our kids when they tell us they’re nervous about something. I was also impressed with his problem-solving abilities by offering the alternative of taking online classes.
We need to listen to our kids when they tell us about a situation that makes them nervous or uncomfortable. They’re communicating their needs, and we as parents need to honor those needs even if we did things differently when we went to school.
Times are different now. There’s so much more pressure on our young people with social media, and the competitive nature of the world. That’s why suicide is the second largest cause of death in our young people today. The first is overdose and alcohol poisoning. Do you see a trend here?
I certainly do. Kids are self-medicating either to deal with stress or abuse. They’re trying to stop the suffering. I believe that’s what suicide is, an attempt to stop the suffering. Those kids don’t want to die, they just want to stop the pain.
So, we as parents need to make sure we’re listening to our kids when they tell us they need help or are in pain. We need to watch for signs of stress when they don’t communicate. I read a book a few years ago, and I feel it’s still relevant today. The cover and blurb are below.
From two leading child and adolescent mental health experts comes a guide for the parents of every college and college-bound student who want to know what’s normal mental health and behavior, what’s not, and how to intervene before it’s too late.
“The title says it all…Chock full of practical tools, resources and the wisdom that comes with years of experience, The Stressed Years of their Lives is destined to become a well-thumbed handbook to help families cope with this modern age of anxiety.” —Brigid Schulte, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, author of Overwhelmed and director of the Better Life Lab at New America
All parenting is in preparation for letting go. However, the paradox of parenting is that the more we learn about late adolescent development and risk, the more frightened we become for our children, and the more we want to stay involved in their lives. This becomes particularly necessary, and also particularly challenging, in mid- to late adolescence, the years just before and after students head off to college. These years coincide with the emergence of many mood disorders and other mental health issues.
When family psychologist Dr. B. Janet Hibbs’s own son came home from college mired in a dangerous depressive spiral, she turned to Dr. Anthony Rostain. Dr. Rostain has a secret superpower: he understands the arcane rules governing privacy and parental involvement in students’ mental health care on college campuses, the same rules that sometimes hold parents back from getting good care for their kids. Now, these two doctors have combined their expertise to corral the crucial emotional skills and lessons that every parent and student can learn for a successful launch from home to college.
This is a great book for helping a parent deal with their teen’s mental health. It’s an amazing guide in helping a parent pinpoint unhealthy behavior and how to handle it. How about you? Do you have any pointers on dealing with the stressful years of college? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!
T
