My little one is a little over 2 years and a new kind of my LO is emerging with each passing day. Today was the day my daughter laid her hands on me, and hit me. I am not proud in posting this article glorifying the fact that my daughter is turning into an aggressive toddler, but I wanted to share ways in which I am trying to not be an aggressive mom who retaliates.
When my daughter turned 2, I was expecting the world out of her. She has been pretty late in terms of her communication related milestones and that for someone as chatty as me, is worrying. Initially, it used to be a lot of concern, but that ship sailed a long time ago. I am no longer noting down as to when she speaks or when she will, rather. Coming to the original topic of hitting. So, since her limit of word usage is pretty narrow, she has difficulty explaining things to me. The problem lies in the situation where she talks and shares her piece of mind with me and expects immediate attention, regardless of whether those words made sense to me or not.
As I type and wonder where exactly did I go wrong that her hitting was triggered, I cannot help suppress the thought that she has started picking worst of her habits from the playgroup. But, for now in the moment, it was not related to the playgroup, the reaction might have been, but the origin that triggered that reaction happened in the house. I wear my detective hat and inspect, or rather back track, the entire scenario. That is exactly when it struck me, I missed giving her a hug after we finished the itsy bitsy spider song like I always do. That is why she was just not able to let go off my neck and hit me when I smiled (I know I was a devil!).
That situation is never gonna happen again, but it triggered a new research in my head. Why do toddlers hit? What are the most common reasons? How to handle this stage of them getting to know themselves? Some top tips I plan on following are:
Prevention is better than cure
In the past too, there have been episodes of dramatic explosion of emotions, but never before was I hit. Either I had much patience or she managed her emotions well. Since nothing of that sort is immediately going to take place, the best way that I plan on getting started with is prevention. I know her well and I very well know what ticks her off.
Stay calm yourself before calming the child
I have smacked my daughter lightly once or twice before and I am not pleading guilty. I have my reasons and we will cover that in another article. But, I don’t plan to make it a habit and hence need to focus on calming my nerves before getting started with calming my LO. Mediation – here I come!
Give words to actions
It is a very difficult phase for children when they just start learning any language. This is the reasons it is important to tag every action and emotion with the respective word. Explain that “hitting hurts” or “Are you sad?” When I actually started tagging actions, it was quite funny, but overtime I have seen her identifying her emotions better.
Distract, Distract, Distract
Always works!! I just move my daughter from the place of where the incident is continually happening to somewhere calmer like a balcony, window or even out. Thank god for their small memory spans, at least there is some hope to controlling this bad habit.
Handling toddlers is looking like a rough road ahead. I wont say I am ready for it, but do I have another option. Children really can get on your nerves sometimes and the point where I wrote about staying calm is really something I want to look into. I am, by nature, a very hyperactive person and I now feel that her hyperactivity is a by product! Nothing my mom did calmed my nerves, but I don’t want to lose hope yet.
When was the first time your hitting squad landed? How did you manage your child’s hitting habit? Please share your experiences to prepare us new moms for the tornado ahead!
