- I’m still asleep, hears alarm: What day is this?
- In the shower: Did I use the conditioner yet? Omg. Now I have to start over because I can’t remember if I used the conditioner or was it just the shampoo. Or was it just conditioner. Damn.
- I’ll just grab a pop tart since I’m running late. Opens pantry finds empty pop tart box. Who should I kill for that?!
- Goes through drive through to grab breakfast. Is the person in front of me ordering for the whole damn office building? For. The. Love.
- Gets to work. Sits in car trying to find my happy face. Forget it. They’re just going to have to settle for medium nice today.
- Gets home from work and the dog won’t get up to greet me much less wag his tail. Starting to think no one likes me.
- Craving a pop tart. See #3. Pissed at kids again.
- Settles for a sandwich. Makes grocery list. Because I love going to the grocery store and we are out of food. In case it wasn’t obvious.
- Does laundry and thinks, “is this all there is in life?”
- Decides to watch Netflix spends 2 hours trying to figure out what to watch. Gives up.
- Family comes home and wants to know what’s for dinner. I serve them pop tarts. Fresh from the grocery store.
- Goes to bed and dreams of a warm, sunny tropical island vacation. Alone. With unlimited amounts of cash. And booze. “Please don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up.”
