I am sick of playing these games
Sick of this empty unyielding pain in my stomach
Tired of exhausting myself trying to be someone I am not
In need of life change
Done with running in circles
Watching life pass me by with each moment
Wasted away worrying about what others think
Yet never satisfied with life
Scared that if I try to be someone
I will fail
That I will never succeed in walking away
From codependency
From emotional abuse
From this misery
I give up trying to be what you want me to be! I give up trying to make you happy and putting up with your constant lies. I give up trying to say the right things. With trying to guess what you are thinking. With the silent stabs at my esteem. I am tearing my seams. NO MORE! Everyone deserves self-respect. Everyone deserves to have peace.
Have you lost sight of happiness, What makes you happy?
- The ocean
- Adventure
- art therapy
- science, nature, rocks, weather
- Finding understanding and deeper meaning
- creating something out of nothing
- listening to music that says the things I can not say
- Writing all day long
- Poetry
- Silence and serenity
- Running away and taking photography
- Painting
- Drawing
- Getting lost in thought
- Being surrounded by beauty
- Other cultures
- Exotic food
- Other languages
- Being able to express independence
- Being comfortable with being me
- Having an art gallery
Been trying to figure out what career would provide satisfaction for all of these outlets. It seem that getting art and science degrees do not pay. I have been over analyzing what to do with my life since my parents divorced after summer of high school. Been out of college for maybe three now working retail and not moving forward. Trying to fill the dissatisfaction of settling for this life with empty means.
Growing up, I was not allowed to make decisions or trusted. Rules made no sence and were suffocating. I lost a voice and am scared to trust in any decisions I make and always feel very incompetent. Its time to grow up and make adult decisions.
Any good career advice is welcomed. How did you know what you wanted to do with your life?
Stay strong<3 you are not alone
