You know how Legos have a reputation for inflicting excruciating pain when you step on them? Not to take anything away from legos, I mean, next to being impossibly messy, causing outbursts of profanity from normally mild-mannered parents is their claim to fame. You. Guys. I have never heard my husband let out a high-pitched womanesque scream quite like when he stomped down on a lego piece the other night. But you know what’s even worse? Monopoly pieces. Don’t believe me? Step on that cannon, or whatever it is.
Curses, I tell you.
And just now, I was nearly killed by Darth Vader. No, not the real one (because HE’S REAL MOM!) This one:
Apparently Darth is exempt from “clean up” time which resulted in my ending up in a position only comfortable to individuals who wear spandex for a living. Because, I’m not sure if you knew this, but Darth, when stepped on, acts exactly like an ice skate.
Which got me to thinking. Why is the floor the obvious place for my kids to put E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G??
For the same reason that I drop things on countertops, instead of where they belong I guess. The floor is my kids’ countertop. It’s right there, on their level. It’s not hard for them to retrieve it as they can just pop down there and right back up again like a Freshman at the club on spring break.
So anyway, maybe me asking my kids to keep their stuff off the floor is like asking myself to never leave stuff on the counter tops. I don’t know, but I do know that at this moment, my kitchen looks worse than my kids’ playroom, which tells me something. Chill mom, childhood is short. And get back to doing yoga, because, well, that stretcy-fall was not pretty.
One day I’ll miss seeing these cute little creatures all over the floor. I may even miss their toys too.
Oh, and my husband comes home today! So now comes the question: All 3 of my kids are napping (what, the what?!!!) Should I clean up so that my husband recognizes me as the domestic goddess that I pretend to be, or should I go take a nap so that I have a better attitude about doing the 6 loads of laundry that are coming my way once he unpacks?
