Where would we be without our friends? They comfort us during all of lifes trouble,we share our frustrations with them, we get drunk with them occassionally, we hang out, laugh, and share good times. In a previous blog I wrote about why it’s not good to share all of your business with friends. In this blog I’m going to write about the types of friends that we keep in our circle. In every group of friends there’s certain one’s with certain characteristics that simply just stand out. Although some characteristics are simply comical others may at some point become a problem and you question whether or not they’re worth keeping around. Let me introduce you to my make believe friends Mary, Sue, Debbie, Megan, Betty, Donna, Kate, and Allison.
Fuddy Duddy Mary
Mary is old fashioned, conservative and has no spunk what so ever. She’s a stickler for the rules and will quickly remind you why having that second margarita is bad for you. If you go out with her you will need to be home by a decent hour because she has to roll her her hair and get up early to wash clothes and go grocery shopping. While you’re dancing on the dance floor she will sit there with a scrowl on her face and tap her watch because it’s 9:00pm and it’s passed her bedtime. That’s if she goes out at all! Mary really needs to get laid.
Sickly Sue
Sue stays sick so damn much until you hardly ever see her. Whenever she’s at least 90% healthy she stills complains about aches and pains. Everyone knows that it’s all in Sue’s head. Sue has seen so many doctors until they make up shit and give her aspirin just to get rid of her ass. People take Sue in small doses because no one wants to hear her complain all day about her mysterious ailments. There’s a medical term for this…hypochondriac
Debbie Downer
Debbie never has anything positive to say. If you want your hopes, dreams, and ambitions crushed, Debbie would be the person you talk to. Debbie will quickly remind you there’s nothing good in the world and you should just quit without even trying. You end up feeling worst after talking to her and then you wonder why you bothered to call her in the first place. Let Debbie ruin someone elses day!
It’s Me Megan
Megan talks about her self non-stop. It’s all about her and what she wants. She has no concern about anyone elses feelings other than her own and what makes her comfortable. If you call her for advice, she’ll quickly talk about herself and her problems and will have very little consideration for you or what’s going on in your life. Eventually you get tired of the shit and just tune her ass out or cut contact all together. Megan will learn the hard way that the world doesn’t revolve around her.
Easy Betty
Betty’s world revolves around sex, the more the better. She’s the type of friend who meets people at the club and end up in numerous one night stands. Her clothes are two sizes too small and most of the time she gets all the wrong attention. The best you can do is tell her to love herself more and buy her a box of Durex condoms for Christmas. The sad part is that she can’t seem to understand why the people she has sex with blow her off after that one night.
Drama Donna
If you hang out with Donna before the night is over a fight is almost certain to take place. Where ever she goes there’s trouble and most of time it’s her fault. Donna has no problem kicking things off and before the night is over you find yourself in a bunch of bullshit. When I was in my early twenties and hanging with a group a friends if one friend argued with someone from another group of friends, when it was all said and done the whole group ended up in an altercation. Now in my mid-thirties, I will leave Donna right there to get her ass kicked because in most cases Donna will kick it off but can’t fight worth a damn.
Copy Cat Kate
Everything is a competition for Kate, if you get a new Marc Jacobs purse she goes out and gets the same or similar purse. What ever you try to accomplish she tries to do the same. If you meet someone new she strives to meet someone better. She copies everything you do, she has no originality whatsoever. In some ways this can be flattering but it can also be down right scary. No one should try to be someone else because I don’t care how hard you try you will never be that person. Rule of life, learn how to be an original and not a copy because the copy is never better than the original!
Allison Envy
Allison is so jealous of you until she lies awake at night thinking of ways to sabotage what you have accomplished. She a hater in the purest form but the thing is she’s undercover. To Allison you have the looks, the charm, the talent, and the sex appeal and unfortunately she envys that. When the slightest thing goes wrong in your life she will secretly be happy and then wonder why nothing ever works out for her. Allison will learn that when you envy others and wish bad things it backfires on you big time get that awful shade of green off your ass and work on yourself. Jealousy is the purest form of flattery there is…..run with it!
Please note that these are indeed fictional characters for dramatic purposes. People can also possess more than one character on this list. If you have a problem with a friend and think that maybe there’s a shark in the water you should try to work things out by communicating your feelings. If it doesn’t work then consider cutting the friendship loose. If you have a friend who has two or more of these traits then you should probably run like hell…be afraid be very afraid!
