Family Magazine

Marriage Mondays-Perfect Sunday

By Shawndrarussell
She Said: Gary and I have different ideas about what a  Perfect Sunday looks like. This weekend was the first weekend I have been home in a MONTH (!) and I wanted to have one of these "perfect" Sundays. What does that mean to me? Sleeping in, then going to brunch (or having brunch at our place, but like really do it up, eating outside, and talking for hours). Lingering over our coffee, talking about the upcoming week, and the future in general, maybe making a to-do list of what we should get done that day (or week), how we can get our house ready to sell (yes, we are going to put it on the market this year so we can move downtown!), etc. etc. Important stuff to talk about, but not in a stressful way, just in a hopeful, planning way. Then, maybe go on a long bike ride or walk with our dog, holding hands and enjoying the beautiful weather. Maybe lay out and read a little, cook an early dinner together with a few glasses of wine, and then watch a movie or catch up on television that we had DVR'ed. Just a whole day together talking, planning, laughing, and enjoying each other's company to the fullest without the distraction of the computer, cell phones, or the outside world in general. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to meet up with friends downtown and listen to live music sometimes on Sundays, but sometimes if things have been hectic (like they have been!) all I want is a full, meaningful day with Gary.
Alas, this was not the case this weekend. We stayed out way too late Saturday night, which means we slept in way too long on Sunday. We were totally exhausted the whole day, plus I had some deadlines which meant I had to write for hours on Sunday. Gary hibernated on the couch as he had worked hard in the yard/on the roof the day before (I don't even think the boy got one whiff of fresh air the whole day Sunday). Although it was a "nice" Sunday, it was nowhere near the Perfect Sunday I have in my head. And to be honest, I don't think Gary's Perfect Sunday looks like mine, so who knows if we will ever or regularly achieve vision for the idyllic Sunday that I have dancing in my brain?!?!
He Said: A "Perfect Sunday" for me really only has one major element: relaxation.  Since it is the last day before the start of another hectic work week and the end of a (normally) fun-filled weekend, Sundays are a day to recover and relax.  That does not mean that nothing gets done, or you just park your butt on a couch all day.  Ideally, it would involve sleeping in, me making coffee and a nice breakfast and basically just easing into the day.  All the housework would be in order, and our slate would be clear for whatever the day may hold.  That could simply mean Shawndra and I reading books together, or cuddling on the couch enjoying a movie.  Lunch would be optional, since we would have a late breakfast, so cooking an early dinner would be better.  I envision Shawndra helping me do the preparations, then sitting at the table keeping me company and talking about whatever, as I cook.  I'm sure that Shawndra would prefer that we actually got out of the house and accomplished something, but I would be lying if I said that that would be high on my priority list.  Anything aside from walking our dog around the block seems like it gets in the way of that whole relaxation concept.  We have very busy weeks, and it would be so nice to have one day where there was nothing really going on, except us spending time together unplugged from the outside world.  Don't get me wrong; I enjoy going downtown to listen to music in City Market on Sundays, or going for ice cream--just not every Sunday, especially if we went out and about Friday and/or Saturday.  Maybe my view of Sunday would be different if I liked my job more and did not partially dread having to wake up Monday and go through another week of deadlines and paperwork.  Until that changes, I see Sundays as a day to catch up on sleep and selfishly enjoy my wife's company.

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