Joy: One Word 2012 Recap

How easy it is to forget the intentions we set at the beginning of the year. How easy it is to allow life to get in the way & let everything else fall to pieces.
That's what I did with my One Word this year... I totally forgot about it.
Well, I guess not TOTALLY.
It was there in the back of mind many times throughout the year. I'd hear the word "Joy" & remember... "Oh yeah, I'm supposed to have more of that this year."
Supposed to.
Even in the quest for a more joyful existence I was being rigid & "shoulding" all over myself.
My whole point for choosing "Joy" for 2012 was to open my heart & soul to the beauty in every day life and in that I feel like I received a big fat "F". This was definitely not a year of being present. It was a year of looking back or daydreaming about what could be if I just did this or that or that or this.
I'm not saying there wasn't joy. There definitely was, but the recognition of that joy generally didn't come until days, weeks or maybe even months later. I definitely wasn't "drinking life to the lees" as Tennyson so beautifully put it.
It's always been tough for me to wake up each day with a rosy outlook, anticipating what amazing-ness the next 24 hours would bring. Normally the moment I wake up, my cerebrum is already being filled with what needs to get done. Laundry list living. And it's no way to live.
But even though I've given myself an "F" for this year's One Word journey, I remain ever hopeful that the lessons I've learned this year and the subtle growth that has been occurring has not been in vain. Over this past year, I've continually prayed for a unique perspective from The Spirit. And I believe that is one thing I've gained.
So onward I go into 2013... I have a vision, a God-given one and my heart is seared open.
Ready.
Willing.

Eagerly Anticipating.