Debate Magazine

Jesus, Alabama, Presbyterians, Cops and Guns

Posted on the 14 April 2017 by Lowell

Because It's Aladamnbama, Where They Have Weaponized Jesus


Holy crap. The Alabama Senate has voted to allow a church to form its own police force. Lawmakers on Tuesday voted 24-4 to allow Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham to establish a law enforcement department. The church says it needs its own police officers to keep its school as well as its more than 4,000 person…

Oops, I must add an addendum because there is something in the Christian Bible to justify the actions of the church and their servants in the Alabama Senate.  Check out Matthew 5:38ff.  It begins like this:
"'You have learned that they [your forefathers] were told, "Eye for eye, tooth for tooth."  But what I tell you is this:  Do not set yourself against the man who wrongs you.  If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn and offer him your left.  If a man wants to sue you for your shirt, let him have your coat as well.  If a man in authority makes you go one mile, go with him two. ... Love your enemies and pray for your persecutors...'"
In a more modern American edition, Jesus continues teaching:
"If you are a big Presbyterian church and you're afraid of your neighbors because you've got lots of rich patrons who drive expensive cars, hire your own police force and arm them with AK-47s so if your patrons are accosted on their way to and from worship, your cops can mow down the bastards to leave them bleeding in the street where they will die and then go to the Presbyterian hell.
"And may you worship the Lord your God forever and ever in peace and harmony with all people.  Amen."

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog