It is difficult to know how to support a women after rape. When you are with a woman who has been raped, give them time. I was date raped and it has taken me a log time to come to terms with it.
Do not pressure them because that will only push them away. I guess the best thing a man can do is except NO! NO means NO, but most men cannot accept is as it happened to me also.
Christmas Eve 2011 was the first Christmas without my daughter and granddaughters because of her abusive boyfriend.
This male “friend” called me to come to his home saying it was not right to be alone on Christmas. I was crying telling him no, that I wanted to be alone.
He would not take no for an answer.
If only I would have turned off that phone. He kept calling saying he was worried about me including his family to come to his home instead of being alone saying God would not want me alone on Christmas. Therefore, I went to his home thinking he was concerned for me as a friend.
He bought strong alcohol, Long Island Iced tea. He asked me if I wanted a drink. I told him no because one will lead to many and all it would take is for someone to say one wrong word for me to snap if I was drunk.
He knew I was also on 20 mgs of Valium for my PTSD from being born into horrific domestic violence; I was in 5 abusive relationships beginning at the age of 16 and spousal raped at 23.
He also knew I had been sexually abused by my half-brother when I was 8. I was just a little girl. A brother should protect his sister, not want to have sex with her.
I ended up getting really drunk. I was in a black out dancing around to the music trying to have a good time not thinking about my girls missing them so much. I was told I snapped because this young girl said my thong was hanging out of my pants as I was dancing to the music.
They had to lock her in the bedroom because I ran after her. I thank God she got away and is okay.
The next morning I woke up in bed with him.
I was horrified because I told him many times I just wanted to be friends, but you see he could not take no or rejection like most men. He set me up using the most vulnerable time in my life to get me into bed by crushing three blue Xanax in my drinks. I found out later he said he made only my drinks even stronger.
When I realised he had date raped me, I ran out of his home, drove home crying, and ripped my clothes off.
I lay in a foetal position in the shower in the hottest water ever to get him off.
Then I started scrubbing him off me.
That is how I spent my Christmas of 2011 all because I stood up to my daughter’s abusive boyfriend, who she sided with because she was pregnant again.
At that time, I blamed both her and myself.
Then I blamed myself because I should have said no to the drinks, but at that time I was an addict due to my PTSD and my granddaughters being held against me all because I reported his credible abuse.
Not being able to be with my girls on Christmas caused me so much pain. We always had dinner on Christmas Eve and opened up our presents from each other. Then we spend Christmas day afternoon together eating and opening up presents Santa brought to my home.
It was a tradition and this was the first time ever without them.
I was in pain, he knew it and used it to date rape me.
It took me months to tell my one friend about it. Then I told another. I finally contacted the Rape Center telling them I just knew I am not the first one his did this to.
He will meet his Karma as all the others did whom did me wrong taking advantage of my innocence, big heart, and trust.
I fought a year and a half in court for my grandparent rights. Then the millionaire sexual predator half-brother paid off my attorney to stop representing me at the same time of the date rape. I have proof and I am going after him along with many others reporting their corruption to the Supreme Court.
I finally found another attorney, who would take my case, in September 2012. I called over a 100, but my brother-in-law has huge status in the courthouse, which my rival “sister” used against me.
God gave me back my granddaughters on 12/08/12 just in time for Christmas.
See God had a plan for me too. His plan was to bring down the corruption in my county’s courthouse everyone knows is going on.
I live in the county where the teenage boys killed the illegal immigrant where corruption also got involved.
God knew I was the one who would bring them all down. The date rape almost destroyed me, but God protected me from doing stupid things to ruin his plan for me and the corrupt people.
This inspirational post was written anonymously. I have full permission to share the story and it is true to the best of my knowledge. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous story please Contact Me.
