Family Magazine

I'm Not Qualified To Give Anyone Advice About Anything - But It Never Stopped Me Before

By Guerrillamom @mariaguido
Last week, I wrote a piece for Mommyish called "The Best Pregnancy Advice I Never Got." One of the readers on Mommyish told me to fuck off, and Huffpost Parents ran it on their site - so it was an all around success. You should read it. I think it's funny. I also think it's true, but whatever. Some women have glowing pregnancies and absolutely no problems adjusting to motherhood - in which case they probably wouldn't find it very informative. I don't personally know any of these fictional beings - but I've heard they exist.
So, I'm in week 15 and everything isn't totally grossing me out anymore, which is awesome. I can probably expand my diet beyond bagels and cookies now. But I've noticed that everything is irritating me a little more than usual now. Pregnancy hormones are great! Hopefully I'll make it through the next few weeks without killing anyone. One can dream...
It turns out that I am practically an elderly woman. I'm thrilled to learn that. If I hear the phrase "advanced maternal age" one more time I'm going to freak out. I am going to fill you in on all of the drama I have been experiencing because of my old uterus soon, but for now - you can read this. I'm sure those of you who have been or are pregnant in your late thirties can relate.
I imagined writing a lot more during the first few months of this pregnancy, but it turns out that I am experiencing a little PTSD.  That might be a little dramatic, but it seems my brain goes into this auto-pilot-protect-mode since I have had so many issues with previous pregnancies. I am starting to grasp the fact that there is actually a little being in there now - and hopefully can work through the frantic stress I'm feeling and write more.

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