'I Heart Peen,' Plus 4 More Great Tweets

Cop: bring out the drug dog *brings out the coolest dog ever, everybody gets high as fuck*
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) January 30, 2014

*touches a mannequin inappropriately* *Never breaks eye contact with sales woman*
— Tornado Homer (@TitansHomer) January 30, 2014

For English press 1 For Spanish press 2 For to talk to horse press 3
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) January 28, 2014

Had a busy day standing outside the sporting goods store, wearing my "I heart peen" sandwich board, and ringing my bell.
— AngieDavisheartspeen (@Adar79Angie) January 28, 2014

There are two kinds of diabetes: Xtreme Cheezy Blast Diabetes, and Diabetes Classic.
— Brian Boone (@brianadamsboone) January 28, 2014

Read more great tweets here, eh?