Self Expression Magazine

I Can Have It...

By Doulalovelou
Picture Why is it that the second you decide to let go of something that it's all you want? Like going on a diet, the moment you make the decision to eat healthier, all of a sudden you want ALL of the bad stuff?! Or like dating, the second someone says they aren't interested in you, that's when you think you want them more!
Is it human nature to want the very things we cannot have? Or is it just a temporary glitch in our brains that takes time to adjust to something new? I'm sure there's research on it somewhere, but I'm honestly too lazy to look. All I know is that often times I feel powerless against the very things I'm trying to avoid, the very things that are not good for me.
That's one of the challenges of change I guess, getting used to the "new normal" and even tricking your brain into thinking that your new habits are the better, more desirable ones.
Recently I decided to cut artificial & refined sugars out of my diet. I had been gradually cutting back, but the day after Easter I decided I'd had enough. I knew it wasn't good for me, but the temptations of the sweet life always drew me back in. So, cut it out I did and one week later the change is evident. My mind is clearer, my energy level is higher & even though I have cravings for sweets (which I'm hoping will go away sooner rather than later) I'm finding that a cup of fruit or granola lightly sweetened with raw honey is enough to satisfy them!
All this after only a week! Imagine what another month of this could do! Another year!
The key for me in making this stick was my mentality, my approach. Rather then coming from a place of withholding sugar from myself or taking on an attitude of misery due to withdrawal, I started repeating a little mantra courtesy of the documentary "Hungry for Change"... that mantra is " I can have it, but I don't want it."
I CAN HAVE IT, BUT I DON'T WANT IT.
By repeating and accepting the truth of this mantra, I am stating that I have the freedom to make the choice. I know what choices are good for me and I know what choices are right. I give myself permission to choose sugar, but tell myself I don't WANT sugar. By flipping the script I take away the temptation and take responsibility for what comes next.
I now realize that this attitude can be applied to anything that we as humans struggle with. Finances: I can buy that new pair of shoes, but I don't want them. Addiction: I can smoke, drink, have sex, etc. but I DON'T WANT TO. Judgements: I can belittle that person's choice, but I don't want to.
To be sure, there will be times that we choose the wrong thing and slip back in to unhealthy coping behaviors. That's just humanity. But I believe that by adopting this attitude and this mantra, I will be able to create a healthier sense of self and a stronger sense of discipline which will benefit my body, mind & spirit.
And you can too. By re-framing your words and readjusting your perspective to include a more positive outlook, I know that it will change the way you change. It may not make it easier per se, but hopefully it'll make the changes seem more realistic or at the very least, not as much of a chore!
Give it a try and please, let me know how it goes!


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