Today I want to talk about how to start enjoying the things you hate to do. Here’s 2 reasons why I think this is worth your consideration.
PERSONAL FREEDOM
The first reason, and what I would argue is the most important one, is your personal freedom.
If you have to do a whole bunch of things your life that you hate doing, are you truly a free person? No, because you are trapped in the prison of your pain, by resisting your life.
For me, true freedom comes from being able to joyfully and willingly do everything I need to do and go through everything I need to go through in my life.
I am definitely not there yet. This is a very hard one for me, because I think I have really fixed ideas about what I like and what I don’t like – and that is something I’m trying to dismantle all the time. It’s hard. And it makes me an unhappy person – when I have a certain idea of something I like to do and something I don’t like to do and I have to do the thing I don’t like to do. So that is why we are talking about this today!
MAKE YOUR LIFE SMOOTHER
And the second reason why I think this is important, is that it generally just makes your life smoother. It’s going to make you happier, less resistant to the things you have to do and thus improve your productivity too.
The best way to get started with personal development and growth is to start where you are, with what you have, and to work with the flow of yourself rather than against it. That means to take what is already working, what you already do well, all the wonderful parts of you and your life and elevate it to the next level.
Once you’ve done that for some time you will start generating some momentum and confidence to start tackling some of the difficult, aspects of your self improvement.
In this blog post I’m going to share with you 3 things you can do to get started with where you are and what you have. And how to start liking the things you don’t like to do!
Step 1
I want you to identify something you do in your day already that is effortless or close to effortless. Something you do because you want to do it, and not out of obligation.
For me, it is writing in my blog or planning a youtube video. It involves work but its work that I’m happy to do.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be something productive, maybe you truly enjoy just watching old movies on Netflix.
STEP 2
Once you’ve identified what that activity is for you – I want you to take a look at it more closely and try to get to the root of why you do what you do.
What need is it fulfilling for you?
Once again, using myself as an example – writing/creating youtube videos gives me an opportunity to be creative, and to connect with people, on topics of spirituality and personal development . Ultimately – it’s meeting my need for creativity and connection.
Maybe watching Netflix is about comfort, maybe baking is about nurturing, maybe shopping for clothes is about reinventing yourself, maybe you play games on your phone because you like to work on puzzles, maybe you play the piano to get in a state of flow.
These are just things off the top of my head. But we do the things we do because it meets a need that we have, and I think different things may meet different needs for every person. For example, maybe you like to cook because you want to feed and nurture people, but maybe someone else enjoys cooking for the creative process behind it. Why do you do it?
Once you’ve identified why you do something you do effortlessly, there are three things you can do with this information.
- Take what you are doing to the next level
Now that you realize that this need is important to you, how can you elevate this activity to the next level? Can you streamline the process? Can you make it a more integral part of your day or you week? Can you upgrade your tools? Can you invest in getting more educated on this thing you love to do?
2. Find more things you can do that will fulfill this same need.
Using the need for connection as an example – start brainstorming other things you can do that help you feel connected! Maybe it’s journalling, or starting a bookclub, spending more time with your friends and just having more of those deep and inspiring conversations with people.
3. See how you can tweak the things you do in your day that you don’t really enjoy into something that starts to meet some of these needs.
I don’t enjoy life-admin stuff. I find it overwhelming, stressful, I don’t feel good enough, and it’s not my strength. I often procrastinate on it and I am always resisting and dreading having to do it. And here’s something I’ve learned about general adulthood and applying for residency – it is FULL of administrative tasks.
So I take this activity that I don’t like to do and see how I can make it meet a need I have. This for me, involved a small perspective shift. I started to see all these things I have to do, all these boxes I have to tick, and applications I have to fill, and e-mails I have to write as as a crucial part of me “creating” my future and my life. I realized that I can use a great deal of creativity when designing an intentional life I want to live, and thus meet my need of wanting to create.
And maybe all those e-mails and correspondences and networking I am doing, is an opportunity for me to connect with people.
It was such a simple yet monumental shift in my perspective, and since then every time I engage in these tasks I previously didn’t like – I actually derive some enjoyment from them now. This has made me a happier person. A more free person.
Shout out to my husband to shared this technique with me and so kindly invited me to grow – like he always does.
Till next time,
m
